Question Insanity: What to Ask Progressives
An ex-Soviet immigrant goes Socratic on his liberal American critics.
December 27, 2010 - by Oleg Atbashian Share
pajamasmedia.com
The two women who showed up early for my book signing at a small bookstore in Houston, TX, never even bothered to open my book. Wearing knowing smiles, they engaged me in a bizarre discussion that wound up leaping all around the known and unknown universe. They hadn’t the slightest curiosity about my ideas as an ex-Soviet immigrant in America, or what I had to say about my experience working inside the two ideologically opposed systems. As it turned out, they had spotted my flyer in the store window the day before, and the book’s title — Shakedown Socialism — had enraged them so much that they decided to return the following day and give me a piece of their collective mind.
Their act almost made me feel as if I were back in the USSR, where the harassment of people with my opinions was the norm. The shorter, pudgier woman was the soloist bully, while her skinnier, older comrade provided backup vocals and noise effects. The duo’s repertoire was an eclectic collection of unoriginal talking points, each branded with an almost legible label: NPR, Air America, MSNBC, and so on. Not only were those mental fragments mismatched in key and rhythm; the very existence of harmony seemed an unfamiliar concept to them. But compared to the hard-core screaming I used to hear from card-carrying Soviet bullies, this was almost elevator music. If I had survived the original cast, I could certainly handle a watered-down remake.
Framed on their terms, the debate zigzagged from the evils of unbridled capitalism to global warming to Bush’s wars for oil to Sarah Palin’s stupidity. Since my opponents wouldn’t give me a chance to respond, I soon became bored and tried to entertain myself by redirecting the flow of mental detritus against itself in a way that would cause its own annihilation. I did that by asking questions.
I remembered an old trick invented in the fifth century B.C. by Socrates. Instead of telling people what he thought was true, Socrates asked seemingly simple questions that put his opponents on the path of finding the truth for themselves. Seeking genuine knowledge rather than mere victory in an argument, Socrates used his questions to cross-examine the hypotheses, assumptions, and axioms that subconsciously shaped the opinions of his opponents, drawing out the contradictions and inconsistencies they relied on.
As the two women faced my questions, their knowing smiles turned to scowls. Sometimes they would backtrack and correct their previous statements; sometimes, they would angrily storm out of the room in the manner of Joy Behar and Whoopi Goldberg on The View with Bill O’Reilly. After a while they would return with more talking points, and then they had to answer another logical question. My friends who witnessed the scene told me later they saw the shorter bully beginning to foam at the mouth.
The resulting cognitive dissonance made them disoriented. In due course, they panicked and walked out, never to come back.
Dear Americans, these are some questions I have collected in 16 years of living in your country. Please see if you can answer them for me:
•Why do advocates for higher taxes have accountants advising them how they can pay smaller taxes?
•Ever noticed that for the past thirty years, we’ve been hearing we have less than ten years to save the planet?
*If a politician gets elected by the poor on a promise to eliminate poverty, wouldn’t fulfilling his promise destroy his voting base? Wouldn’t he rather benefit from the growing numbers of poor people? Isn’t this an obvious conflict of interests?
•Why weren’t there demonstrations under Stalin with anti-communist demonstrations? And under Hitler, no anti-fascist demonstrations? In a free capitalist society, anti-capitalist demonstrations are commonplace. Is capitalism really the worst system?
•If cutting out the middleman lowers the price, why are we paying the government to stand between us and the markets?
•If racial profiling is an abomination, what do you make of the last presidential election?
•After Eric Holder called Americans a nation of cowards, what has he done personally to help the situation?
•Why is burning gas in my car hurting the planet, but setting fire to housing developments in California is saving it?
•How come Hollywood can always find a good side in thugs, but never in businesspeople? What was the last movie that pictured a self-reliant, industrious man as a role model?
•How come those calling Sarah Palin a “bimbo” often look like part of Paris Hilton’s entourage?
•If there are no absolutes and family is an antiquated tool of bourgeois oppression, why is having gay marriage an absolute must?
•Why is the media so outspoken about sex abusers being priests, but avoids calling them homosexual pedophiles? Who are they afraid to offend?
•Would you know from the media coverage that there are more sex offenders among public school teachers then among Catholic priests? How come the church gets the blame and the Department of Education doesn’t?
•Why do those who decry modern civilization never live far from shopping centers and why don’t they grind their coffee with a stone ax?
•When the media portrays the killing of terrorists as “slaughter of civilians,” while slaughter of civilians is portrayed as “resistance to occupation,” is the media really being neutral? Whose side are they really on?
•If Hollywood types are so opposed to capitalism, why is there a warning against unauthorized distribution of their movies?
•Why do those who object to tampering with the environment approve of tampering with the economy? Isn’t the economy also a fragile ecosystem where a sudden change can trigger a devastating chain reaction?
•Isn’t the latest economic crisis such a chain reaction?
•Aren’t most of today’s social ills the result of tampering with social ecosystems?
•Why is bioengineering bad, but social engineering good?
•If being a winner in nature’s struggle for survival is selfish, does being extinct make you an altruist?
•Since our planet’s resources are limited, wouldn’t the ultimate act of environmental activism be to stop eating and starve to death?
•How come those who hate humanity for its faults are called “humanists” but those who love humanity for its virtues are called “hate-mongers”?
•If economic ups and downs are natural cycles, why is the downturn always blamed on unbridled capitalism, but the upturn is the result of a wise leadership of a Democrat president?
•Why is there never a media story praising capitalism for the booming economy?
•Ever noticed that those who demand “power to the people” also believe that people can’t do anything right without government supervision?
•How exactly does dependency on the government increase “people power”?
•Why is there never a headline that says “Government program ends as its intended goal has been achieved”?
•How come so many anti-American radicals are wearing American brands, listen to American music, watch American movies, and play American video games on computers designed by American engineers?
•If U.S. oil companies own everyone in Washington, how come they allowed Congress to grill them for the alleged price gouging — and to broadcast it on C-Span?
•Why didn’t Congress also grill Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, and a guy named Abdullah Ibn Abdul Aziz Bin Abdulrahman Bin Faisal Bin Turki Bin Abdullah Bin Muhammad al Saud?
•Why are windfall profits a problem when they enrich U.S. companies that pay billions in taxes — but when Hugo Chavez uses the same windfall profits to fund Marxist guerillas in Colombia, it’s not a big deal?
•And finally, if all opinions are equal, how come a liberal who disagrees with a conservative is open-minded, but a conservative who disagrees with a liberal is a bigot?
I hope you will find my questions handy. Feel free to pass them around and propose some of your own in the comments below.
Oleg Atbashian, a writer and graphic artist from Ukraine, currently lives in New York. He is the author of recently published Shakedown Socialism. |
