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To: Tom Trader who wrote (28559)	11/16/1997 11:52:00 PM
From: Autumn Henry	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 58727

Tom, it also makes a big difference on one's response to others if one is coming from the viewpoint of "a victim"---when you look through those eyes everywhere you are bound to be a victim. My psychological background always asks what the benefit is of having a victim mentality (and I am not referring to you I hope you know--you are FAR from a victim mentality)---well, the pervasive answer always comes back to there being a PAY OFF to being a victim. From what little I see from IKE"s payoff--he gets tons of email and such saying how much he is loved and admired as well as on the thread......that is just an obvious easy to see payoff. Being a victim has big emotional payoffs if you need them. I just prefer getting my pay off's through not being a victim. But extricating someone from that payoff is near impossible---it is very emotionally seductive and fills one's needs if that is where you are used to getting your needs met. The martyr syndrome is much like the hypochrondriac syndrone......very difficult addictions to kick......:) JMHO Autumn