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Pastimes : Ask God -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Lee Bush who wrote (9499)11/19/1997 11:26:00 AM
From: Lee Bush  Respond to of 39621
 
Jack and all:
"Without faith it is impossible to please God"
Hebrews 11:6

Here is a little humor to help you through the day:

FROM REAL CHURCH BULLETINS
==================================

1) Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be
recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

2) The Outreach Committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on
people who are not afflicted with any church.

3) The Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All
ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is
done.

4) Evening massage - 6 p.m.

5) The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation
would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next
Sunday morning.

6) The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the
recession.

7) Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7. Please use
the back door.

8) Ushers will eat latecomers.

9) The third verse of 'Blessed Assurance' will be sung without musical
accomplishment.

10) For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a
nursery downstairs.

11) The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the
audience.

12) The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir
will sing 'Break Forth Into Joy'.

13) The choir will meet at the Larson house for fun and sinning.

14) During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of
hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.

15) Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service.
The pastor will then speak on 'It's a Terrible Experience.'

16) Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing service will be
discontinued until further notice.

17) Stewardship Offertory: 'Jesus Paid it All.'

18) Today - Christian Youth Fellowship House Sexuality Course, 1 p.m.
Please park in the rear parking lot for this activity.

19) Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and
community.

20) The concert held in the Fellowship Hall was a great success.
Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole
evening at the piano, which as usual fell on her.

21) Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'hell' to someone who
doesn't care much about you.

22) Today's sermon: HOW MUCH CAN A MAN DRINK? with hymns from a full
choir.

23) Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to the church
secretary.

24) The choir invites any member who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

25) Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use the large double
door at the side entrance.