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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: epicure who wrote (4655)	11/25/1997 8:19:00 PM
From: Thomas C. White	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

"I believe she was going to pay you a special surprise visit, but I think you can forget about that now that you have linked Penni romantically with the disgusting Bilbo." Oh rest assured Oracular Alexa, thou titillating tattletaless, we are painfully accustomed to this lewd sort of huffery-puffery that our dear dear Janice every so often feels obliged to spew all over the thread. We find it usually happens when there is a power outage in her neighborhood for more than a day and she is left with naught but battery powered appliances. And batteries are very expensive in Italy you know. Actually, in truth, we were planning on inviting her to our fabulously chi-chi clandestine pied-a-terre in Ravello (provided we were permitted to occasionally muzzle her with duct tape as needed). But, sad to say, she told us that she was regrettably having a recurrence of her gout and would be utterly miserable company. So, off we go solo, the dice to throw in sunny Monaco. We'll win one for you, you can be sure of that. Oh goodness, did I tell you about the last time we had Janice come to visit one or our places? Marbella I think it was. penni?? Was it Marbella? No, Cannes. Had to be Cannes. Anyway, I should tell you she completely monopolized my electric shoeshining wheel and we didn't hear a peep out of her the rest of the weekend. Well, we did hear a peep or two, come to think of it.

To: epicure who wrote (4655)	11/30/1997 10:23:00 AM
From: Rambi	Respond to of 71178

As I walked in the woods this past week, following deer tracks and seeing small creatures everywhere, I had the most absolutely brilliant gift idea for our J. But we'll have to act quickly-I hope there hasn't been too much decomposition already. I have the name of a first-rate taxidermist and he thinks he can work around the bullet holes and general decay and still have it ready for Christmas Eve, if we do the digging and delivery today. Imagine J's look of rapture when she runs down the stairs Christmas morning and finds her beloved Bilbo under the tree, on his back and spreadeagled, the position she always found his most endearing, and now his permanent one--hers forever.