How is Barney Frank's 'marriage' doing?
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Barney Frank Weds Jim Ready
NEWTON, MASS., JULY 7 Representative Barney Frank, right, with Jim Ready after their wedding ceremony.
NY TIMES By MICHAEL M. GRYNBAUM July 7, 2012
nytimes.com
IT was perhaps fitting that Representative Barney Frank met his future husband, Jim Ready, at a political fund-raiser in 2005.
“I told him I had a crush on him for 20 years,” said Mr. Ready, recalling that as a teenager he was inspired by Mr. Frank’s public declaration that he was gay.
And what did Mr. Frank make of that? “That I’m being rewarded for coming to this fund-raiser,” he said with a laugh.
Mr. Frank, 72, and Mr. Ready, 42, were married in Newton, Mass., part of Mr. Frank’s district, on Saturday in a low-key ceremony on the banks of the Charles River. Gov. Deval L. Patrick of Massachusetts officiated. The guests included Representative Nancy Pelosi, the House minority leader, as well as Senator John Kerry and Representatives Dennis J. Kucinich and Steny H. Hoyer.
Mr. Frank, Democrat of Massachusetts, became, in 1987, the first sitting member of Congress to volunteer that he was gay. He is now the first to be married to a partner of the same sex. Both bridegrooms said they recognized the historical significance of the ceremony, which lasted less than five minutes. Governor Patrick told the guests that Mr. Frank had requested that the service “be short and to the point.”
And in vows written by the couple, Mr. Frank and Mr. Ready pledged to love each other “on MSNBC or on Fox” and “in Congress or in retirement,” a reference to Mr. Frank’s decision not to seek another term.
It was yet another signal moment for Mr. Frank, who was born into a blue-collar family in Bayonne, N.J., and whose debating skills and legislative prowess made him one of the most powerful lawmakers in Washington. He maintained that stature despite a 1989 scandal that threatened to derail his career when an ex-boyfriend’s activities led to an 11-month ethics investigation.
In October 2005, Mr. Ready — a carpenter and welder who specializes in awnings and runs a small shop, Jim of Most Trades, in Ogunquit, Me. — had been dragged to a local fund-raiser by his longtime partner, Robert Palmer, who knew Mr. Frank from his days as an adviser to Michael S. Dukakis when he was governor of Massachusetts.
At the time, Mr. Ready was acting as a full-time caretaker: Mr. Palmer had been struggling with serious illness, and both men knew that he was dying.
The meeting that night was not entirely coincidental. Mr. Palmer “wanted someone to be there for me,” Mr. Ready said. “He was looking for somebody to look out for me when he was gone.” After meeting Mr. Frank, he recalled his partner saying, “He could take care of you.”
The congressman, for his part, was deeply affected by Mr. Ready’s devotion.
“I had never really seen that up close between two guys before,” Mr. Frank said. “I was envious in some ways of what Bob and he had.” He remembered thinking, “I could have the same wonderful relationship with this great man.”
The two struck up a friendship, but Mr. Ready felt guilty spending more than a few hours away from his partner. Mr. Palmer died in January 2007.
“I called, and he was distraught,” Mr. Frank said. He flew to Maine to console Mr. Ready.
Their dinners turned into dates. “I was really just drawn to him,” Mr. Ready said. “It was platonic, but I didn’t want it to be.”
Still, it soon became clear that dating a congressman was not like dating other men. Mr. Frank had just been appointed chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, where he played a central role in creating legislation to increase transparency in financial markets.
Weekends in Maine turned into Washington sleepovers, with Mr. Ready eating takeout outside a conference room as Mr. Frank hammered out a bank bailout with figures like Henry Paulson Jr., then the Treasury secretary.
“Hank Paulson would call on a Friday afternoon and say, ‘Well, such-and-such a bank is failing,’ ” said Mr. Frank, recalling broken dates. At one point, Mr. Ready confronted his boyfriend: “I was like, ‘You know what? You spend more time with flight attendants than you do with me.’ ”
But for Mr. Frank, who described his husband as a “natural caregiver,” Mr. Ready was a supportive and calming presence in a trying time. In past relationships, Mr. Frank had enjoyed carving out time for himself; with Mr. Ready, the reverse was true. “It immediately made me feel very unhappy” to contemplate spending time without him, Mr. Frank said.
Lawmakers on Capitol Hill said they began to see changes in their usually cantankerous colleague. “I should’ve known you were here,” said one leading House Republican after bumping into Mr. Ready in a hallway. “Barney was nice to me today.”
Mr. Ready, who surfs and skis, can be blunt with his partner, nagging Mr. Frank about taking better care of himself. On days they are apart, they watch sitcoms together while talking on the phone.
They had long discussions about marriage; Mr. Frank wanted to be married while still serving in Washington. Mr. Ready was worried about the public scrutiny. But he remembered how he felt in high school in Tewksbury, Mass., when Mr. Frank came out publicly.
“The kids that are going to see us, and feel strong enough to be able to come out and be who they are. That gives me more encouragement that I’m doing the right thing,” he said.
Their wedding bands were made of black diamonds set in tungsten, a metal used in welding. Mr. Ready picked the material. “It helps keep me grounded, after going to lunch with the president,” he said.
The wedding took place at a no-frills Marriott hotel in Newton. (Mr. Frank said he chose the location for ease of access.) The bridegrooms planned to wear tuxedos by Joseph Abboud, which Mr. Frank noted was a union shop.
Ms. Pelosi said at the reception on Saturday that it was appropriate that a landmark same-sex wedding take place around the Fourth of July. “It’s about expanding freedom,” she said. “This opportunity was a long time coming.” |
