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Politics : Formerly About Advanced Micro Devices -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: koan who wrote (749278)	10/25/2013 10:36:15 AM
From: Brumar89	2 Recommendations Recommended By Bilow TideGlider Respond to of 1574205

Dizzying Success of ObamaCare Inspires Private Sector Komissar Blogunov 10/21/2013, 3:13 pm Poster_Glorious_World_Next_Tuesday_250.png [ 28.86 KiB \| Viewed 2418 times ] The Day One dizzying success of Obamacare has inspired several industries in the private sector to similar heights of achievement. “The private sector is always languishing behind the government,” said Jay Carney in a White House press release earlier today, “especially in terms of technology and efficiency. It is hoped that by our showing the world that success is achievable, others would be inspired to do as well." Indeed, with the government to lead the way, private sector businesses, and even other governments, are beginning to think they could succeed, too. Consider some of the Obamacare inspired success stories of today: Last week, Ford rolled out its Pinto II. Always on the cutting edge of green energy, the Pinto II boasts the new Internal Eco Drive, or IED powered engine. Selling like hotcakes, 8,327 Pinto IIs rode off the lot in the last seven days, and dozens of them carried their satisfied owners home without exploding. “We believe 48 of our new cars may have made it home safely, and there are reports of two or three more in another country that did the same. We’re just so grateful that our president showed us what’s possible,” said a Ford spokesman In other news, Microsoft released its new SacreBleu! operating system. “We’ve had some bugs and glitches with the system initially,” said Microsoft on their website, “but just like ObamaCare, we’re seeing amazing success. Some of our customers, only 99.98%, reported system crashes and total data loss, but one man in Maryland said his computer is working just fine after installation. We’re waiting to hear what happens when he attempts to go online or actually install a program.” Poster_Government_Leads_Way.png [ 27.14 KiB \| Viewed 2426 times ] Even our old Cold War foe, Russia, is taking its lead from the Obama adminisration and is revamping its fleet of attack submarines with a program called AkulaCare. At a christening ceremony for a new Akula II, Vladimir Putin complimented his American counterpart for once again showing the world what was possible. “We would have never imagined what we could do with our new line of submarines,” said a shirtless Putin posing with a slingshot next to a sedated rhinoceros, “until we saw how ObamaCare met and exceeded all expectations. Then we realized we could perhaps do as well.” Prime Minister Dmitry Medvedev was tragically killed when moments later the bow of the Akula II he christened exploded after being struck with a champagne bottle. However, one Akula II sold to India has not yet sunk, and observers are eagerly awaiting the results of its first dive. “As I’m fond of saying,” said a justifiably proud President Obama, “you didn’t build that; somebody else made that happen. It just goes to show once again how if government succeeds like it has with my signature health care plan, everybody’s a winner.” thepeoplescube.com

To: koan who wrote (749278)	10/25/2013 10:55:05 AM
From: Brumar89	1 Recommendation Recommended By TideGlider Respond to of 1574205

Dept of Compulsory Health Outlaws Pre-existing Conditions Nomenklatura-climber 2/19/2013, 11:23 am Dear Comrades, Poster_Boot_Obamacare_260.png [ 43.42 KiB \| Viewed 10856 times ] The Commissar for Healthcare Enforcement of the Department of Compulsory Health and Mandatory Human Services has announced that, because of the Party’s successful implementation of the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (Obamacare), the Pre-Existing Condition Insurance Plan is no longer seeking new applicants. At this time, the Commissar has determined that all citizens are now sufficiently covered by State-approved medical services, and there are no more citizens in need. Citizens are now instructed to have no further medical conditions that require government assistance, and the acquisition of new 'pre-existing conditions' is now forbidden. Since all citizens are now covered by some type of government-mandated program, there are no longer any ‘pre-existing’ conditions that would disqualify a citizen from coverage. Workers and peasants of the USSA retain the right to present themselves at any hospital emergency room for immediate treatment, and by law they cannot be refused. This, of course, was law before the new law, but the new law also redistributes the costs of medical coverage through a more elaborated system subject to more government scrutiny, which is expected to improve the quality of healthcare treatment. As we all know, government oversight improves efficiency and decreases costs. By providing more documentation of services and double-checking the necessity and appropriateness of procedures, the State assures all citizens of equal treatment. No longer will one citizen receive favorable or better service, but all will partake of exactly the same, fair level of treatment. Citizens, we have seen the Bourgeoisie and Kulaks use their money to purchase better medical treatment than the workers and peasants of the USSA. Comrade Party Chairman and President Barack Barackovich Obama is leading America to a future in which money will no longer buy you better things than what your neighbor has. Yes, we are called to a bright future of complete equality, where money and favoritism will be utterly displaced by the joys of equality! The Commissar for Healthcare Enforcement will soon begin compulsory collectivization of those citizens who refuse to pay their fair share of the healthcare program. Kulaks will be paying penalties for their excessive hoarding through their refusals to pay into the State-mandated insurance collectives. Please assist the Commissar by denouncing uninsured citizens. Onward to Victory over the Uninsured! All loyal citizens participate in medical insurance! Faithfully submitted to the Collective of the People’s Cube, Comrade Nomenklatura-climber Dialectical Progressivism Translator thepeoplescube.com