To: puborectalis who wrote (755546 ) 12/2/2013 12:56:02 PM From: Brumar89 1 RecommendationRecommended By
Respond to “Obamaflowers” – Seasons Greetings – An Offer You Just Cannot Refuse… December 2, 2013 by sundance Customer: Hello. I received an email from Professional Flowers stating that my flower order has been canceled, and I should go to your exchange to reorder it. I tried your website, but it seems like it is not working. So I am calling the 800 number. Receptionist: Yes, I am truly sorry about the website. It should be fixed by the end of November. But I can help you? Customer: Thanks. I ordered a “Spring Bouquet” for our anniversary, and wanted it delivered to my wife… Receptionist: (interrupting) Sir, “Spring Bouquets” do not meet our minimum standards. I will be happy to provide you with Red Roses. Customer: But I have always ordered “Spring Bouquets”, done it for years, my wife likes them. Receptionist: Roses are better, sir. I am sure your wife will love them. Customer: Well, ok, how much are they? Receptionist: It depends sir. Do you want our Bronze, Silver, Gold or Platinum package? Customer: What’s the difference? Receptionist: 6, 12, 18 or 24 Red Roses. Customer: The Silver package might be okay, how much is it? Receptionist: It depends sir. What is your monthly income? Customer: What does that have to do with anything? Receptionist: I need that to determine your government flower subsidy. Then I can determine how much your out of pocket cost will be. But if your income is below our minimums for a subsidy, then I can refer you to our FlowerAid department. Customer: FlowerAid? Customer: Who said they were a Right? Receptionist: Congress passed it, the President signed it and the Supreme Court found it Constitutional. Customer: Whoa…..I don’t remember seeing anything in the Constitution regarding Flowers as a Right. Receptionist: It is not really a Right in the Constitution, but obamaflowers is Constitutional because the Supreme Court Ruled it a “Tax”. Taxes are Constitutional. But we feel it is a Right. Customer: I don’t believe this… Receptionist: It’s the law of the land sir. Now, we anticipated most people would go for the Silver Package, so what is your monthly income sir? Customer: Forget it, I think I will forgo the flowers this year. Receptionist: In that case sir, I will still need your monthly income. Customer: Why? Receptionist: To determine what your ‘non-participation’ cost will be. Customer: WHAT? You can’t charge me for NOT buying flowers! Receptionist: It’s the law of the land, sir, approved by the Supreme Court. It’s $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income… Customer: (interrupting) This is ridiculous! I’ll pay the $9.50. Receptionist: Sir, it is the $9.50 or 1% of your monthly income, whichever is greater. Customer: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? What a ripoff!! Receptionist: Actually sir, it’s a good deal. Next year it will be 2%. Customer: Look, I’m going to call my Congressman to find out what’s going on here. This is ridiculous. I’m not going to pay it. Receptionist: Sorry to hear that sir. That’s why I had the NSA track this call and obtain the make and model of the cell phone you are using. Customer: Why does the NSA need to know what kind of CELL PHONE I AM USING?? Receptionist: So they can get your GPS coordinates, sir. (Doorbell rings followed immediately by a loud knock on the door) Receptionist: That would be the IRS sir. Thanks for calling obamaflowers. Have a nice day…and remember to vote democrat! http://theconservativetreehouse.com/2013/12/02/obamaflowers-seasons-greetings-an-offer-you-just-cannot-refuse/
