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Politics : Manmade Global Warming, A hoax? A Scam? or a Doomsday Cult? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Don Hurst who wrote (3580)	1/14/2014 4:39:23 PM
From: longnshort	Respond to of 4326

Al Gore Trapped in Blizzard En Route to Climate Fundraiser By Mark Donahue CHICAGO – Former vice president and current global warming superstar, Albert Arnold Gore Jr., was trapped in his limousine on Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive last night for thirty minutes after the limo slid into a twelve foot snowbank. Although Mr. Gore did not receive any physical injuries, his driver said that Mr. Gore may have had a nervous breakdown. A spokesperson for the Gore empire issued a statement this morning. “President Albert Gore, former U.S. Senator, Grammy and Academy Award winner and humbled recipient of the prestigious Nobel Peace Prize is resting comfortably at his home in the esteemed Malibu Beach community of beautiful sunny, southern California. He would like to express his heartfelt thanks to the dozens of devotees who’ve sent recycled cards wishing him a speedy recovery. Mr. Gore is well aware of the necessity of his presence in our deteriorating world, and he wants his disciples to know that after a few months of rest aboard his large yacht he will board his private jet and travel to far and distant lands to warn people they will soon suffer unimaginable agony and despair in the ever advancing apocalypse of global warming. The Gore estate will continue to accept large financial donations to help pay for his selfless and benevolent predictions of impending wretchedness and torment. So we beseech you to please continue to donate large sums of money. With enough cash Mr. Gore is confident that, through his unrelenting determination and struggle to combat global warming, he can almost guarantee your younger children may not die before they reach the tenth, maybe even the eleventh grade.” Mr. Gore’s limo driver told reporters that the former vice president and Nobel Peace Prize recipient may have had a psychological meltdown during their time in the snowbank. “President Gore was quite shaken when it became apparent that he would miss the fund raiser. When our cell phone reception disappeared he began squirming around the back of the limo like a caged animal. That’s when he began screaming into his cell phone. “Somebody, please answer me! Hello? This is Al Gore! Somebody answer Al Gore’s cry for help! Somebody please, answer Al Gore’s cry for help! I repeat, this is President Al Gore! Somebody help President Al Gore!” “When I told President Gore that his phone wasn’t getting a signal,” the driver continued, “he rightfully told me to keep my mouth shut because I was just a limo driver who’d never received an important trophy in front of lots of people. Then he started hyperventilating and screaming that we were going to die. By the time help arrived he’d collapsed into a fetal position in the back of the limo mumbling: “Five hundred and thirty-seven votes. Five hundred and thirty-seven votes. Five hundred and thirty-seven votes. Five hundred and thirty-seven votes…..” When reporters attempted to contact Mr. Gore’s ex-wife, Tipper, her spokesperson said the former first lady has been away shopping for the past six months and is expected to continue shopping for several more years.

To: Don Hurst who wrote (3580)	1/14/2014 4:42:14 PM
From: longnshort	Respond to of 4326

Obama Appoints Reverend Al Sharpton Global Warming Czar By Mark Donahue WASHINGTON – During this morning’s White House briefing Jay Carney confirmed President Obama will appoint Al Sharpton to be the administration’s new Global Warming Czar. Carney said the president was astonished at the scientific brilliance Sharpton displayed when he explained man-made climate change earlier this week on MSNBC. “The president happened to tune into ‘PoliticsNation’ on MSNBC this week when Reverend Sharpton was educating his audience on the complicated intricacies of man-made climate change. Armed with scientific facts and undeniable evidence, Mr. Sharpton was able to explain in layman’s terms the devastation we will all experience if we don’t act to rein in corporate America’s disregard for our planet.” This afternoon Al Sharpton appeared on CNN with Piers Morgan to discuss his new position at the White House. Following is a transcript of their conversation. PIERS MORGAN: My next guest is the new Czar of Climate Change, Reverend Al Sharpton. Welcome to the show, Mr. Sharpton. AL SHARPTON: You may call me Reverend. PIERS MORGAN: Of course, Reverend. Let me begin by congratulating you on your new job in the Obama administration. AL SHARPTON: You’re welcome and I accept your congregation, Percy. PIERS MORGAN: Climate Change Czar! I was not aware you were so knowledgeable about environmental dangers. AL SHARPTON: There are lots of things I’m allegible for. PIERS MORGAN: Tell me, when did you become so educated in climate change? AL SHARPTON: Oh, I’ve been a huge fan of weather my entire whole life. PIERS MORGAN: Did you study science in school? AL SHARPTON: Nope. I’m what you would call self-adjudicated. I learned most things that way. PIERS MORGAN: So when did you first become concerned about climate change? AL SHARPTON: Oh, probably the first time I ran for president. I realized that lots of people on the left wanted global warming to be a tropic of their represenator’s oral condensations. PIERS MORGAN: So it was political motivation rather than an actual concern for the environment that motivated you? AL SHARPTON: My concern for those entering retirement was motivational. The elderlies are terrified of having to swim for their lives in floods due to man-made carbohydrates. PIERS MORGAN: Reverend Sharpton, are you personally afraid of the consequences of climate change? AL SHARPTON: My personal consequentials are personal, but the potentiality of global flooding in New York where I abode are catastrophous. PIERS MORGAN: As the new czar of climate change, what will be your initial priority? AL SHARPTON: African Americans will be my official minority, but I will not overlook a conspicuous regard for Latinos and homosapiens too. PIERS MORGAN: Reverend Sharpton, what are some things you will recommend to reverse man-made climate change in the United States? AL SHARPTON: I do not plan to go into reverse. Now is not the time to move backwards. We need to look forward rather than post a tasty retreat. I always say tomorrow is another day to fight against impression and any quality. PIERS MORGAN: For decades Al Gore has warned us of the impending calamities of climate change. Do you plan to confer with him during your tenure as climate czar? AL SHARPTON: Well, I don’t know if it’s going to be a ten year job, but who knows. Maybe I’ll be good at it. PIERS MORGAN: I’m assuming as climate czar you will have an immense amount of power to crack down on some of the abuses of companies emitting poison into our air. AL SHARPTON: What I will do as the climate star is seek and desist the crack down on drug abuses that send so many innocent African American men of color to prison and replace those laws with ambulatory rebilitation and career consoling. PIERS MORGAN: You recently said that Tea Party members are happy about climate change. What did you mean by that? AL SHARPTON: Tea baggers want the climate to flood because they don’t think African Americans can swim. PIERS MORGAN: Can you swim? AL SHARPTON: I used to be able to float when I was fat. PIERS MORGAN: And now that you’re skinny? AL SHARPTON: (snickers) When the floods come I’ll just have to pray that Oprah floats by.

To: Don Hurst who wrote (3580)	1/14/2014 6:14:13 PM
From: Cogito Ergo Sum	Respond to of 4326

So much of this debate plays upon the fears of people.. is used to manipulate.. How wise were the Dutch to build so much below sea level.. How wise was it in New Orleans.. That's a lot of hubris IMO.. that I am not wont to pay for... Not that I don't feel for victims... but it comes down to the three little pigs parable... The wolf should have been sated after the straw house in a proper world :O) if he was still bent on the brick house after teh first two yielding abstinence.. shame on him :O) but watch out for those piggies... Orwell's piggies gave us four legs good two legs bad which conveniently morphed into four legs good two legs better :O) Who'd a thunk it...

To: Don Hurst who wrote (3580)	1/15/2014 10:22:19 AM
From: weatherguru	1 Recommendation Recommended By d[-_-]b Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4326

I was providing a link to a global temperature plot derived from thermal emissions of oxygen molecules that is professionally maintained. Why don't you argue that? Geez, you're bombasting everything else. LOL!