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Politics : Evolution -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: jlallen who wrote (62452)	11/11/2014 9:15:05 AM
From: Solon	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 69300

Not at all. I actually enjoyed doing this because one game of poker can be boring with a lot of dead space. I think if I polish this up a bit and make it serious, I can maybe send it in to the Onion?! You give me ideas! Your worthless posts inspire! "Bedford, New Hampshire__citizens of this quaint little town of camper trailers and mountain bikes are breathing a sigh of relief after a notorious troll was slain while trying to buckle his shoes. Police Chief, Dan Hammit told the press, we can all sleep a little better now knowing that it is not ALL about him! “It was unbelievable” said local resident, Jane Anniston. “He would walk into the local corner store and stand in front of all the lined up shoppers yelling, “This store is ALL about me! Everybody stop what you are doing and admire me right now!” “Children were terrified of him,” recalled single mother Sally Yearns. “He would jump into the middle of their little children’s games and shout at them, “This game is about ME! It is ALL about me!” “It was like a horror movie,” said Chief Hammet. “Everything was about him! And if people ignored him, he would jump up and down and start screaming ME ME ME! Talk about ME! Everything, everywhere is about ME. I am the ONLY person who counts—except for mom. Where’s mom??” “But TROLL boy was already way too much,” said school teacher, Elaine Yahweh. “He would come to the class and challenge 12 year olds to a fight; and when they stepped toward him he would run away yelling, “I won! I got attention! I won! I got attention!” The relief for this besieged little town finally came as a result of a lucky accident. Recounts shoe salesman, Roland Piper: “He came into the store where I was sizing 3 customers for shoes and he demanded. “This is about me. Why are you paying attention to them? I want attention. My mommy didn’t give me attention and I want it. Give me some troll shoes--right now.” “So I brought him a pair of nice silver troll shoes with high heels and scarlet letters reading, “All About ME!” What happened next will always be a mystery--but a mystery that the grateful citizens of this little hamlet in the woods will always cherish. “He reached down to buckle his shoe” said Roland, “and one of the other customers said 3 and 4...shut the door. And big Sam Stumpy said, 5 and 6--pick up sticks.” And I guess the troll buckles were too far down for him to reach over his pot belly. The lights went out and when they came on he had sort of fallen over and was laid out really straight. Official cause of death was obesity brought on my too much attention. As an unfortunate aftermath to this tragic death of a troll, Sunday school teacher, Swallow Rimler approached the open coffin with an amulet which he waved frantically shouting, “Troll boy come home! TROLL boy come home!” Onlookers rushed to the coffin to control the wild gesticulations of Mr. Rimler but were amazed to find that he drifted up in a waif of EXTREMELY yellow smoke! And the TROLL boy was gone, too! New Hampshire has long been noted as a refuge of trolls who tend to have a symbiotic relationship to the local swallows—always an advantage to a birding community. "Sin th' unfortunate death o' th' troll, th' swallows ur seldom seen in th' open anymair," cooed local librarian, Brandubh with a look of gloom. "Ye kin aye fin' thaim back in th' woods, though. And a'm knowin thare aye be trolls whin ah see th' black ravens a circling! Aye!"