To: longnshort who wrote (845862 ) 4/9/2015 9:24:08 PM From: Mongo2116 Respond to of 1578023 Abduction, Brotherhood & Bongs – Come Listen To A Story ‘Bout A Man Named Rand… Given how Rand Paul is digging deep into the past of Hillary and Bill Clinton, it seems only fitting we open Paul’s closet, turn on the light, then stand back to avoid being injured by the mass of **** and dirty laundry that topples out. Okay, so let’s see, what’s in there… We’ve already discovered a few foul-smelling heaps. There is a plethora of Rand Paul plagiarisms, a not-so-secret Government Shutdown discussion with Mitch McConnell, bogus attempts to blame Hillary Clinton for Benghazi, and now bogus claims that Hillary is unfit to be a president because her husband cheated during marriage. There are many more questionable closet finds, like how Rand Paul is not a ‘board-certified’ physician; rather he is ‘self-certified’. But let’s move on to a different kind of story – an event that allegedly took place during Paul’s two-year stint at Baylor. This Rand Paul story contains: a secret society/brotherhood, an abduction, and a bong. Some of you will remember this strange tale. Others, like me, missed it, altogether. Paul who never graduated from Baylor, apparently made a stink during his time there, as part of a liberal secret society called NoZe Brotherhood. He and his NoZe bros were known for being “lewd, crude, and grossly sacrilegious,” according Baylor’s then president. Surprised? There’s more. A former swim teammate of Rand Paul’s, wishing to remain anonymous, came forth 30 years later and was interviewed by GQ. She told a very bizarro story about Rand Paul and one of his NoZe ‘brothers’ in 1983. The woman stated: “He and Randy came to my house, they knocked on my door, and then they blindfolded me, tied me up, and put me in their car. They took me to their apartment and tried to force me to take bong hits. They’d been smoking pot.” After the woman refused to smoke with them, Paul and his friend put her back in their car and drove to the countryside outside of Waco, where they stopped near a creek. “They told me their god was ‘Aqua Buddha’ and that I needed to bow down and worship him,” the woman recalls. “They blindfolded me and made me bow down to ‘Aqua Buddha’ in the creek. I had to say, ‘I worship you Aqua Buddha, I worship you.’ At Baylor, there were people actively going around trying to save you and we had to go to chapel, so worshiping idols was a big no-no.” Paul’s camp never really denied the charges: “We will not tolerate ‘drive-by journalism’ by a writer with a leftist agenda.” Leftist agenda? It’s an American agenda. Rand Paul wants to become President of the United States. Part of the agenda of all citizens is to make sure we don’t put an ‘Aqua Buddha’ lunatic into office, or a lawmaker who goes from being Liberal-like to Republican, to Tea Party, to a Libertarian, or to whatever the flavor of the day is to play the field and get him attention. And speaking of Rand Paul being a Libertarian, the philosophy behind the Libertarian movement is ‘individual free will with minimal interference from state and government.’ So how can Rand Paul be so eager to shove his anti-choice government agenda up the vaginas of our American women, or take a political stance against equal marriage. It’s because that’s what ‘minimal interference from state and government’ is about – said no ever. Rand Paul likens to a spoiled brat. He’s similar to George W. Bush in many ways, and is sure to be a regular ‘face to palm’ embarrassment to his father as well. Paul has a closet full of junk yet to be discovered. He’s got a whole messy room he needs to clean up, else he’s sure to fall asunder. But he has our blessings to procrastinate. The closer he gets to becoming a serious presidential contender, the more outside cleaning services will happily be coming in for free, to help Rand Paul sort through his room/closet full of nasty, stinking, dirty laundry. __________________