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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: greenspirit who wrote (5448)	12/20/1997 3:17:00 PM
From: Janice Shell	Respond to of 71178

Or if you're politically correct: >THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS....In the PC Madison style... > >On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter >festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult, >monogamous relationship gave to me: > >TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming, > >ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made >up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as >called for in their union contract even though they will not be >asked to play a note), > >TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the >patriarchal ruling class system leaping, > >NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression, > >EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing >milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans, > >SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands, > >SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human >animal products, > >FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced >domestic incarceration, > >(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to >throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French >hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native >habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining >gift package has been revised.) > >FOUR hours of recorded whale songs > >THREE deconstructionist poets > >TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree >carcasses and... > >ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree. > >Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa Oh, heck! >Happy Holiday!!!! > >*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected >Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this >gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that you >have a thoroughly adequate day.