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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: greenspirit who wrote (5448)12/20/1997 3:17:00 PM
From: Janice Shell  Respond to of 71178
 
Or if you're politically correct:

>THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS....In the PC Madison style...
>
>On the 12th day of the Eurocentrically imposed midwinter
>festival, my Significant Other in a consenting adult,
>monogamous relationship gave to me:
>
>TWELVE males reclaiming their inner warrior through ritual drumming,
>
>ELEVEN pipers piping (plus the 18-member pit orchestra made
>up of members in good standing of the Musicians Equity Union as
>called for in their union contract even though they will not be
>asked to play a note),
>
>TEN melanin deprived testosterone-poisoned scions of the
>patriarchal ruling class system leaping,
>
>NINE persons engaged in rhythmic self-expression,
>
>EIGHT economically disadvantaged female persons stealing
>milk-products from enslaved Bovine-Americans,
>
>SEVEN endangered swans swimming on federally protected wetlands,
>
>SIX enslaved Fowl-Americans producing stolen non-human
>animal products,
>
>FIVE golden symbols of culturally sanctioned enforced
>domestic incarceration,
>
>(NOTE: after members of the Animal Liberation Front threatened to
>throw red paint at my computer, the calling birds, French
>hens and partridge have been reintroduced to their native
>habitat. To avoid further Animal-American enslavement, the remaining
>gift package has been revised.)
>
>FOUR hours of recorded whale songs
>
>THREE deconstructionist poets
>
>TWO Sierra Club calendars printed on recycled processed tree
>carcasses and...
>
>ONE Spotted Owl activist chained to an old-growth pear tree.
>
>Merry Christmas Happy Chanukah. Good Kwanzaa Oh, heck!
>Happy Holiday!!!!
>
>*Unless, of course, you are suffering from Seasonally Affected
>Disorder (SAD). If this be the case, please substitute this
>gratuitous call for celebration with a suggestion that you
>have a thoroughly adequate day.