To: Izzy who wrote (3409 ) 12/24/1997 2:29:00 AM From: David S. Read Replies (1) | Respond to
On the twelve days of Christmas...hmmm. First, I'd like to send Art Laffer to Japan and give him executive authority over their tax policy. Then, I'd like to throw all of those crooks who run the far eastern nations, including goons running Thailand, Indonesia, etc. in jail. Third, I'd send Richard Rainwater over to Korea with a bunch of cash and make those anal retentive Koreans open their markets. Fourth, I'd agree to help bail out Japan via the IMF if we get something in return - like give us the island of Hokkaido - it'll be just like the Louisiana purchase. The Japanese have to leave, we give them $25 billion dollars and they fix their financial system. Fifth, (I've got 7 more nights), we would turn the island into a prison for all the American scum who ruin America for the rest of us law-abiding citizens - kind of like in the film "Escape from New York". Make it into a penal colony like Australia or that island Napolean went to. 6th, I'd wish that the Japanese would stop overfishing. 7th, I would eliminate HIV and other diseases and make it so that people would rock and roll till they died, but would not rust in their latter years. When it came time to punch the clock, we could just hit a button on our remote control and life would end - their would be no suffering along the way. 8th - I would have android slave lovers for people over the age of 67. I figure it might be hard to get a date if you're 67, so why not have the chance do it with that high school cheerleader when you're 70 years old? 9th - I'd make blintzes non-fattening. 10th - I would compare the DNA of Hillary RODHAM Clinton and Alvin the Chipmunk to see if they're the same. 11th - I would make every day begin with a back massage. 12th - I'd find the phone number of that high school cheerleader. So there's the 12 days of Christmas. And that's only for this year. Wait till you see what I wish for next year!
