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Pastimes : LVB Investment Group -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Leo Mitkievicz who wrote (695)	1/5/1998 3:53:00 PM
From: A. Reader	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 1253

COREL CORPORATION INTRODUCES COREL LAWNCHAIR Software for sitting back and watching Net 'flame wars' Toronto, Canada /DenounceNewswire/ -- March 10, 1997 -- Corel Corporation today announced the release of Corel LawnChair!, a web-browser utility that notifies users of interesting 'flame wars' taking place on the Internet, as well as provides automatic daily, weekly, monthly, or annual summaries of the greatest flame wars then going on on the Net. "Makes a lot of sense to me," said Indu Strypundit, an industry pundit. "Before, you had to actively hunt down the best flames, and oftentimes you got there when all the arguments were already over. With LawnChair, you can waste lots more time at work or at home, keeping up with all your favorite senseless arguments." LawnChair features argument, heated-debate, my-PC-is-better-than-your-Mac, my-cult-is-better-than-yours, and other flamefest-related search and browsing capabilities for the Web, USENET, AOL, Prodigy, the WELL, CompuServe, and other online locations. Corel LawnChair users can also search for keyword and by category, to only see flames containing personal attacks, insults, ad hominems, and ad nauseams. Special Offer -- DorkDex In addition, customers who buy within the next 60 days will receive the DorkDex add-on, which provides a CD-ROM index of known "dorks" on the Internet. For customers who pay an additional $29.95, Corel sells "Total DorkDex", an expanded version of DorkDex that not only includes an index of known dorks, but also includes an index of all known "total dorks". Dorks and total dorks are often involved in flame wars, and with these index tools, Corel LawnChair customers can quickly find lots of good places to camp-out on the net, to await the next stupid online argument. Corel expects to announce a similar 10-disc CD-ROM boxed set containing an indexed directory of Clueless Newbies later this year. "Problem is, each time we finish the list, we keep finding more names to add to it," a Corel spokesdroid said. Price and Availability Corel LawnChair 1.0 will sell for $49.95 through retail outlets and mail-order firms, as well as be available over the Internet. denounce.com