and more...
THE ANIMAL FAIR
I went to the AGM site,
The directors were there in full sight,
The CEO said, "I want some more dough,
Who dares to say I'm not right?"
Diamond Willie bumped the skunk,
And scoffed at the officers' bunk,
The threadsters' vote killed the option float,
And that was the end of that junk,
The junk, the junk, the junk,
The junk, the junk, the junk
I AM THE VERY MODEL OF A MODERN DIAMOND GENERAL
I am the very model of a modern diamond CEO,
I've studied sills and dykes and pipes along with those things they call
blows,
I know the head of Aber and I tete a tete with Monopros,
And when I'm stumped and need some help I call for Pokhilenko- whoa!
I'm not so good at PR though, at that I'm ripping at the seams,
I'm glad I hired Sophie though, an IR girl who 'fills my dreams,
But now I wish I hadn't gone and screwed with that re-pricing scheme,
So maybe I'll just take a break and have a shot of ol' Jim Beam,
Chorus: So maybe he'll just take a break and have a shot of 'ol Jim
Beam!!
About geologists it seems I'm teaming with the finest crew,
With Aber's best and Ashton's girl , McDonald's sure to get us through,
Chorus: With Aber's best and Ashton's girl, McDonald's sure to get us
through!
With Aber's best and Ashton's girl, McDonald's sure to get us through!
I'm very good at raising funds in markets bullish, rich with cash,
When times are tough and prices low there's funds to drill and still a
stash,
In short in matters of financial import and of minerals,
I am the very model of a modern diamond general
Chorus: He is the very model of a modern diamond general!!
But when the subject comes to greed (and options make me salivate)
I think perhaps I'll fool some folks if I just go and change the dates,
I'll change the price and have a vote, democracy cannot be bucked,
And when the votes are counted those damn shareholders will all be
f*****
Chorus: And when the votes are counted those damn shareholders will all
be f*****
In people's skills and candor though, I'm lacking, with deficiency,
But that's why I hired Sophie, she can work with great efficiency,
We're "happy," "hopeful," "fingers' crossed," and "optimistic" to and
fro,
I am a fine example of a modern diamond CEO,
Chorus: He is a find example of a modern diamond CEO!!
Of late I have been worried that some might say I show avarice,
Perhaps I'll shelve repricing and avoid angina pectoris
In short in matters of financial import and of minerals,
I am the very model of a modern diamond general
Chorus: He is the very model of a modern diamond general!
He is the very model of a modern diamond general!
**DISCLAIMER** The Randy Turner depicted in the following song is a
fictional character (sort of like the imposter Peter Grandich) and in no
way is meant to depict the real Randy Turner. Any similarity between the
Randy Turner in this song and any real Randy Turner, living or dead, is
purely coincidental. Same goes for George, Walt, Marcos, Adrian
duPlessis, Tomato, Sophie, and Diamond Willie.
THE BALLAD OF RANDY TURNER
Born on a mountain top in Saskatoon,
Taught real young to reprice things every June,
Took to the woods so some b'ars he could fight,
Looked at some rocks, so he knew kimberlite,
Randy, Randy Turner, repricing's wild frontier
In nineteen ninety six they found some stones,
Like Cheech and Chong would say they got a "diamond jones,"
Itchin' for drillin' and not bein' a flake,
They gathered up a crew and went up to ol' Snap Lake,
Randy, Randy Turner, trackin' the diamonds down
Home fer the winter with his family,
Happy as squirrels in the ol' gum tree,
Sophie at the office kept the phone lines free,
He was free to talk to Russians and was happy as a bee,
Randy, Randy Turner, holdin' his youngins dear
He heard about the SI thread and even liked a song,
Talked a lot with George and Walt they weren't no Viet Cong,
Bein' the CEO he wanted to be,
Close to his shareholders as the pod an' the pea,
Randy, Randy Turner, heading his loyal thread
But the ice went out and the warm winds came,
An' the meltin' snow showed no proof of real great gains,
An' the drillin' crew couldn't prove any pipe,
They'd found lots of stones, but the stock price just said "yipes"
Randy, Randy Turner, holdin' some real cheap stock
Lookin' fer a way to make back all his dough,
The stock had took a lickin' with no pipe 'neath Snap Lake snow,
So he scratched his head and his thinkin' cap,
"I think I got a way to fix up all this crap!!"
Randy, Randy Turner, lookin' for Paradise
The votes were counted an' he showed his hand,
So the Board of Directors bought his new repricing plan,
Don't matter that non-insiders were really gettin' screwed,
Nothin' that any critics said could make the man unglued,
Randy, Randy Turner, ignoring the little guy
Next stop's Vancouver and the AGM,
Anyone who fights him sure will buy himself some phlegm,
Thinks the opposition there are just a bunch a schmoes,
Doesn't know the AGM could be his Alamo,
Randy, Randy Turner, an ambush lies ahead
He walked in the meeting there and sat himself down,
Spied Adrian duPlessis and the crowd could see him frown,
Marcos, Diamond Willie, and Tomato took the floor,
And with proxies in their hands they drove directors to the door,
Randy, Randy Turner, meeting his Alamo
FAME* sung by Irene Cara(I. Cara, U. Cara, Weall Cara!!)
Randy look at me and tell me what you see,
You ain't seen the best of me yet,
Drop the repricing and I won't be a pest,
You got good inside that greed did somehow hide,
We can catch the moon at Snap Lake,
Please don't call me a flake,
Remember my name
We're gonna live forever,
Shareholders never can die,
We feel it comin' together,
Flippers who sold out will cry
We're gonna make it to seven,
Light up the chart like a flame,
Shareholders live forever,
Randy remember my name
Randy don't be tight,
'Cause you can make it right,
You can shoot us straight up the chart,
Drop the scam, show the world you've got heart,
Baby, we're in touch, dilution is too much,
We can get your goat 'till you break,
Ooh, we got what it takes,
Remember my name
We're gonna live forever,
Shareholders never can die,
We feel it coming together ,
Flippers who sold out will cry,
We're gonna make it to seven,
Light up the chart like a flame,
Shareholders live forever,
Randy remember my name |
