Media (mostly Russia Today) commentary from a Guantanamo detainee:
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In a March 15, 2017 letter Afghani wrote, “It’s the only western news we get—and it’s from Moscow.”
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Afghani has been watching RT for a long time. He first referenced “the TV I have, RT, Russian TV” in a December 2015 letter to his lawyer, Carlos Warner, who shared a trove of Afghani’s letters with The Daily Beast. He’s sufficiently familiar with RT as to form a critique of the network’s editorial choices.
“Funny how RT likes Trump and doesn’t talk about Guantanamo anymore,” he writes, continuing: “This is all fake news. Propaganda is not news.”
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He and the other Camp 7 inmates have few options for passing the time. “We don’t get many sports here,” Afghani lamented in March. What they do have, according to his letters, are magazines like Time and Rolling Stone; America’s Funniest Home Videos; Saudi and Beirut-based TV; and a news channel that U.S. intelligence agencies in January characterized as part of “Russia’s state-run propaganda machine” ( PDF).
Men like Khalid Sheikh Mohammed are unlikely to require additional reasons to view America negatively. But the Kremlin-owned RT saturates its coverage with them, leavened with fare like the “prophesies of fringe authors who predicted a 55 percent chance of civil war and the dissolution of the United States into six distinct territories by July 2010,” which journalist Julia Ioffe once wrote in Columbia Journalism Review. One arguable exception to RT’s portrait of a depraved, irredeemable America: the network loved Donald Trump.
Afghani seems to be sick of what RT broadcasts. “I can’t even watch the news anymore. Every story is more scary and I am here. I am scared for everybody. I choose to turn it off. That’s why I ask about sports,” he explained to lawyer Warner.
He does not only ask Warner about sports. Afghani tries very hard to keep up with the Kardashians.
“Did Caitlyn get the surgery, did she vote for Trump? What does this Tyga do? One [Kardashian] dates a Cav? Does LeBron approve?” Afghani wanted to know in March, seemingly concerned about the impact of Tristan Thompson’s relationship on Cleveland’s ultimately thwarted hopes of repeating as NBA champions.
Warner, his Akron-based attorney, explains that Afghani has a voracious appetite for word from the outside world. Since 2008 or 2009, they’ve met at least three times a year, and the difficulty inherent in getting to Guantanamo—a trip that must be approved by the military—means they get over eight hours together in a stretch. Without an actual court case to work on, Warner and Afghani have spent nearly a decade shooting the shit.
“I hate the Kardashians,” said Warner, “but I can’t look away.”
So the exploits of Kim, Khloe, and Kendall get pored over at Guantanamo, along with the random news of whatever’s happening when Warner makes it out to the Antilles. Typically, Afghani, who is fluent in English, writes letters during their meetings, which—if they clear the military and “other agency” censors—get faxed back to Akron.
That means the letters reflect the random news of the day that the two men discuss, as well as a strong dose of Afghani’s sense of humor. In July 2015, for instance, Afghani wrote, “This is terrible news about Ashley Madison, please remove my profile immediately!!!”
Afghani’s letters have leaked out before—particularly when he briefly made international news later that year for setting up a short-lived Match.comprofile. (“ Detained but ready to mingle.”)
Afghani often spends his dispatches clowning Warner, one of the few people he has talked to in a decade. Warner’s “girlfriend is wrong, you are only 45% grey,” Afghani encouraged him, adding, “It’s distinguished, like Clooney. Age well, friend.” A different letter to Warner assesses, “You smell great with these Downy Unstopables… I am not getting paid for this.” While Afghani once asked Warner to send candy, Afghani revoked the order: “STOP with the circus peanuts. I am not sure about the dentists here. These candy sucks [sic]. Not funny.”
Trends have passed Afghani by, he laments. “Why are the watches so big now? When you first visited me they were little. Now huge. Are you losing sight? My Timex looks like it was made for a woman.”
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His sports takes are more easygoing. “Like you said, Moneyball only works if you get the picks right,” Afghani observed in March. After the 2014-2015 NBA season, when Warner brought up the only subject that mattered to Ohio sports fans, Afghani wrote: “It is good to hear about LeBron coming home. Miami is a good place to visit, but nobody wants to live there. Too greasy and hot.”
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Whatever RT thinks, Afghani isn’t a fan of Trump. The president is an “idiot.” Attorney General Jeff Sessions is an “ass hat.” KellyAnne Conway is “Skeletor.”
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“My legal situation is bad, but the camp commander is a good man who treats us humanely,” Afghani wrote in March. “Thank him and the new SJA [Staff Judge Advocate], I know many Americans are good.”
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thedailybeast.com |
