To: epicure who wrote (6082 ) 1/11/1998 1:46:00 PM From: Rambi Respond to of 71178
Dearest Alexa, I'm so sorry you don't see my perfection as perfection, but I forgive you, because I am so perfect. In that way I can manipulate you and everyone here into feeling sorry for me as you make fun, which you obviously enjoy doing immensely, of me and my attempts to be nauseatingly sweet, bring peace to all and make you a better and more perfect person in the process. Of course, I absolve you and apologise profusely for placing you in a position where you felt you had to do this. I'm sure it's my fault. That said, on the subject of underwear--we believe here in the Westbrook household that underwear is a practical rather than aesthetic matter. It is for warmth and nurturing, it supports and comforts, and, if properly trained, it will do your homework and make banana bread. I have underwear that predates my adolescence, including my cheerleading panties. I even have a pair of black lace underwear that I found in my mother's bureau which she told me my father had brought home from England after the War. He said he got them in a pub. I didn't press her for details. Either she kept them as a weapon to pull out and wave in his face when she wanted something or they were hers all along and she didn't want me to know about her dark side, having led me to believe that after 1949, she and my father did not indulge in frivolous behavior. My younger brother was an accident, resulting from a wayward sperm who somehow managed to hide out and stay alive for two years before encountering a trusting egg as she innocently took a stroll one day. My underwear drawer contains far more variety than my closet, which has only jeans, formal wear for the opera and my 50 odd shoe collection. I will not describe my lingerie, not wanting to titillate you, but will tell you that no one in our home is ever sans sous-vêtements , except Blue who stubbornly insists on wearing his furry body suit without the proper Fruit of the Looms, despite owning several very attractive pair. I hope you have found this enlightening and if not, I apologise.