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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jacques Chitte who wrote (6107)	1/12/1998 2:40:00 PM
From: Gauguin	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

Used to have a long thin piece of maple hardwood we used for a straight-edge guide for the routers and saws, and it gets a name like everything else because life is easier that way, so it had "Guido" on the faces in big black marker, and became the Guido Guide. ("You seen Guido?" "Over by the planer.") (There were also several other guides, so they need names, OK?) So, one evening after woodwork cousin Dash and I take the spouse out to the local country bar for black russians, and a couple of unusual things happened. They didn't know how to make a black russian. They/she asked us how. And apparently no "Three Hours to Bar-Tending Guido" either; or else she was illiterate, I don't know. We go to a bar maybe once in two years, but for some reason we got "stuck" there drinking ourselves silly. There were two nice guys and a Winnie at the next table and we all wind up talking. I stand and shake hands with the guy on my side, and he says "Guido". "Really! We have a Guido too. We just came from a jobsite where we have a Guido Guide." The guy looks stunned, like I said something really bad, maybe secret mafioso code, or like I'm running some kind of con on them, or maybe just disbelief, I can't tell and heck what's to disbelieve about a Guido Guide in the first place. He's still got my hand but has stopped shaking it and I notice his friends are kind of shocked as well, and now my friends are noticing them, and nobody knows what's going on. He says, "You don't know me?" "Uh, no..." Their Winnie says, "How could he? You guys just got here from Alaska." He stares right at me, my forehead's all wrinkled trying to get a clue... "I'm Guido" "Yah,... ..." I say. He's still got my hand: "And I'm a guide." Me: "You're Guido, and you're a Guide." "Right." His Winnie and friend are nodding. As I'm thinking back now, I can remember this is one of the weirdest conversations I've ever had. Among a multitude. We went back and forth a few times with "You have a Guido Guide." "Yes... You're a Guido Guide." "Yes." Finally someone says what's a guide, and Dash uses his hands and line of sight to brush past each other in a straight line, and says "a stick", and Guido says: "A 'guide' ~ You know, you know, I 'guide' people." "You're shittin me..." "No, really, up in Alaska.." His friend, who's still sitting, and laughing now, is poking him in the back pocket of his pants and saying "Show 'em your card! Show 'em your card!" Winnie is laughing too. Dash and spouse are not sure who the heck these nutchucks are. He pops out his leather wallet and fishes out a card, as any good guide would do. I squint thru the dim, and there it is: "Guido Guide Service ~ Fairbanks, Alaska." Was quite a conversation starter. Who would think. What're the odds, as they say. They wanted to see "the stick", of course, but even tho Winnie was cute, after a few more drinks no one remembered our names. I know I could tell this story better and shorter, but heck, I've got the flu, and you guys are used to struggling thru my stuff by now anyway.