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Technology Stocks : Ascend Communications (ASND) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: George Coyne who wrote (30219)	1/13/1998 7:38:00 PM
From: username	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 61433

I have some depressing news regarding a teammate; a loyal threadie, (I made that up just now I think), one "George Coyne", (probably not his real name; I suspect he could be a fourth dimensional super-being with giant claws and so on, perhaps like that bald fellow we saw last week), who has announced publicly, (and although this is not as significant as some other public announcements he could make; for example that he is in actuality a fourth dimensional super-being with giant claws and so on); it is, nevertheless, more significant than his luncheon menu, (or some other trivial nothingness that none of us could possibly have any possible interest in), that he has LOST HIS SENSE OF HUMOR. [see exhibit 30219, as above]. Now, on a scale of 1 to 10, (1 being unable to figure out what HEXonX means, even with excellent hints, and 10 being the loss of one's sense of humor), this dramatic yet unexpected news could be considered to be a 10, (even 11 if you are trying to make him laugh for some nefarious purpose, or even just because he says he can't laugh and you want to PROVE that he will). So, therefore, I call upon everyone in the entire Physical Universe, (and you know who you are), that knows where this unfortunate lost sense of humor is hiding, (for all we know it could be anywhere...how are we supposed to know this stuff?? We're supposed to be talking about this company in California for goodness sake!), to IMMEDIATELY LOCATE AND SECURE said sense and RETURN IT to George, (if, as stated earlier, that is indeed his actual name), FORTHWITH. Use any means necessary, (water pistols/balloons/buckets; incorrect grammar/spelling's; funny faces/noises/stories; even boogers if absolutely required and used tastefully and in moderation), but USE NO FORCE. Thanks in advance, pete