I, Richard Muller, son of the late senior Muller, aged seventy four years, arraigned personally before this tribunal, and kneeling before you, Most Eminent Inquisitors-General against heretical depravity throughout the entire White Christian commonwealth, having before my eyes and touching with my hands, the Climatic Denial Tweets, swear that I have always believed, do believe, and by God's help will in the future believe, all that is held, preached, and taught by the Dotard's Creed. But whereas -- after an injunction had been judicially intimated to me by this High Office, to the effect that I must altogether abandon the false opinion that the climate is changing, and that the earth is warming, and desertifying, and that I must not hold, defend, or teach in any way whatsoever, verbally or in writing, the said false doctrine, and after it had been notified to me that the said doctrine was contrary to Koch-funded Dogma -- I wrote and printed a book in which I discuss this new doctrine already condemned, and adduce arguments of great cogency in its favor, without presenting any solution of these, and for this reason I have been pronounced by the High Office to be vehemently suspected of heresy, that is to say, of having held and believed that the climate is changing and movable, and that the earth climate is not stable and moves at the hand of man:Therefore, desiring to remove from the minds of your Eminences, and of all faithful dogmatists, this vehement suspicion, justly conceived against me, with sincere heart and unfeigned faith I abjure, curse, and detest the aforesaid errors and heresies, and generally every other error, heresy, and sect whatsoever contrary to the said Koch-funded Dogma, and I swear that in the future I will never again say or assert, verbally or in writing, anything that might furnish occasion for a similar suspicion regarding me; but that should I know any heretic, or person suspected of heresy, I will denounce him to the Dotard SCROTUS, or to the Inquisitors of the place where I may be. Further, I swear and promise to fulfill and observe in their integrity all penances that have been, or that shall be, imposed upon me by this High Office. And, in the event of my contravening, (which God forbid) any of these my promises and oaths, I submit myself to all the pains and penalties imposed and promulgated in the sacred canons and other constitutions, general and particular, against such delinquents. So help me God, and by His Holy Tweets, which I touch with my hands.I, the said Richard Muller, have abjured, sworn, promised, and bound myself as above; and in witness of the truth thereof I have with my own hand subscribed the present document of my abjuration, and recited it word for word at DC, in the Halls of the Dotard, this day.I, Richard Muller, have abjured as above with my own hand.