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Politics : View from the Center and Left -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Jamie153 who wrote (421181)	10/18/2019 6:17:56 PM
From: cosmicforce	1 Recommendation Recommended By epicure Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 541236

Absolutes are really tough to lay out for other people ... mentally ill people exist and rage, throw things, and exhibit all sorts of deviant and unexpected behavior. You know what they say about walking in someone else's shoes, right? Kick 'em out? Hospitalize? Call the police? Talk them down and try again later? Do a 5150? All that has consequences that you may not know about and later regret. Sure - good principles. Now your 19 year old just threw a bottle at you in a rage. Or is tripping balls on drugs. I've talked down a number of people on drugs and had an abusive parent. Great advice ... now live it.

To: Jamie153 who wrote (421181)	10/18/2019 6:50:49 PM
From: epicure	8 Recommendations Recommended By abuelita Alex MG bentway cosmicforce Ivan Inkling and 3 more members Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 541236

You know that song, "Everybody Cries"? Well, everybody screams, sometimes. You haven't raised any kids yet- but the 24/7 world of having children, and especially children transitioning to adulthood, can present some interesting and highly emotional problems. I'm against hitting- I think it teaches the wrong lessons and it's hard to control physical violence, but a parent who lost it once or twice and spanked a child isn't a "failure". I would (very personally) think it was a failure at the time to find a better solution, but no one incident like that is going to make a parent a failure- there are too many moments in the life of raising a child to have one small instance like that be a complete failure. And screaming doesn't even come close. Everyone I've known comes to the end of their rope at some time or other as a parent- that's why it's nice to have 2 parents and and extended family- you can hand off when you get swamped. But imagine a single parent, stressed to the max, with no help whatsoever. A spank or two and some screaming don't make that person a failure. Gross generalizations are fun- goodness knows I make them myself- but I know that I'm doing it, and I wouldn't pretend they're gospel. But the funniest thing for those of us who actually are parents, is you, a non-parent, presuming to rate people who actually walk the walk. I get it- you've got opinions. And you're certainly entitled to have them- but until you're actually glued to a young 'un for the rest of your life in that indissoluble way that parents are, your opinion doesn't mean very much. You haven't been battle tested, as it were. Taking someone else's kid for a spin is nothing like the real deal. I know this for a fact. Please believe me. And don't rate yourself a failure if you scream a little after a tough day or accidentally spank your kid- because you aren't a failure. You're just human.