**OT** Speaking of Great Minds, here is a "brief" I just came across:
Silicone Investor
**Overview of The Company**
See that big building complex down there? Well, Winky Weiner, that's the home of Silicone Investor! Originally a "move-on" of a small duplex that the original owners bought for next to nothing, it has grown over the past 32 years to the gigantic complex you see today. With over 7,000 happy employees, the Silicone Investor is the yardstick by which other online chat lines are measured.
**The Facilities (from the air)**
The green building on the left, by the indoor pool and tennis courts? That's where the Equities Market Posters are housed. They usually get in early, around 7, and get busy posting their news-'n-views for the day. When the Market, (as they call it), opens, they are already two steps ahead. Most of the really wise Equity Market Posters are on the Ascend Communications Thread, which you can see off to the left with the glass roof. You'll have to watch out for some "smart-alecs", but it's common knowledge that the Ascend people, (as a rule), are "on top of the game".
Those two big trailers next to the Equity Market Posters Building were added recently to expand the Free Coffee Shop. When you join up, the Free Coffee Shop will be yours, too. Everyone at Silicone Investor loves the Free Coffee Shop. It's all free; doughnuts, bearclaws, figs, wild rice, acidophilous, pudding, (all the good flavors), those little things that have the pizza flavored sauce inside, all different types of soda, Yoohoo (c) Chocolate Flavored Drink , you name it, it's there. The Equities Market Posters work hard, and the Big Senior Executives feel that they deserve the common courtesy of the Free Coffee Shop. Don't you agree?
That fuchsia colored building in the middle there is the Big General Office. Inside, you will find the latest in state-of-the-art phones and fax machines, as well as lots of really nice offices with big fans and coffee machines and everything. They have some paintings by some people that live in Europe, too. The tram from Parking Lot C takes you to the front door, and I don't mind telling you it's quite a nice place to be. This is where all the Big General Decisions are made, and these Big Senior Executives are not usually seen anywhere but inside the Big General Office. Unfortunately, unless you have a Level 3 Pass, (with the code key), you will not be allowed inside. But anyway, that's the Hub of the Entire Operation.
Right there on the left side of the Big General Office is the Alias Creation Building. This is where you can make your own alias while you are at Silicone Investor. There is a big computer in there with some software that you can use for no extra charge at all. You'll really like it.
Over on the right you will see a large expanse of grass with what appears to be a huge stone carving of a 1968 Dodge Coronet RT. This is the SECRET UNDERGROUND TECHNOLOGY AREA. The Really Smart People all work in the SECRET UNDERGROUND TECHNOLOGY AREA. I personally don't know how big the area is, but I do know that it was dug out in about 1972, and then covered over with some sort of fancy grass. I'm guessing that it is a really huge, multi-level area with lots of secret stuff and everybody is all hush hush about it.
All I really know is that the Really Smart People get in through the door of the Dodge Coronet. As I said, I can't tell you what is going on in there, because frankly, I don't understand what they do, and, truth be told, I've never been in there at all. I know they have their own language, their own jokes, and I think probably they make fun of all of the rest of us. Trust me, they are really smart, and they are doing all kinds of things in there that nobody understands. They have all this giga-this and mega-that, with a lot of wires and boxes, they say it's like a nuclear submarine only with snacks.
Anyway, I guess it's OK because they seem friendly enough in the parking lot. Their parking lot, by the way, is right there, Lot A, the one with all the red convertibles. I like that Viper, personally, but I've never ridden in one.
The little tent you see there next to Lot A, the one with the patch on top, is where all the lawyers and brokers are. Stay away from there. 'Nuff said.
**What Do I Get For My Lifetime Subscription?**
It's easier to say what you DON'T get. You don't get a lame chat line with a bunch of losers that only want to talk about sick stuff, and you can't read it anyway because the little box is too small and the lines move too fast, and you cannot even tell what is going on, even if you do want to talk about sick stuff, which is your right as an American citizen and a taxpayer in this great land of our forefathers.
All the other bogus chat lines are nothing more than 19th century technology, my fine feathered friend. Anybody can tell you that.
**What Does My Lifetime Subscription Cost?**
I think it costs about two hundred bucks, maybe even less. It used to be free, but then the Big Senior Executives got all huffy about the Really Smart People threatening to go to the moon in their own spaceship and then blasting the whole complex into Very Small Particles and starting their own chat line deal. So they, (the Executives), had to start charging money. But I personally believe that the subscription is cheap at twice the price.
**What Does My Money Pay For?**
Most of it goes to the Really Smart People. Just a very tiny part, almost nothing at all, goes to the Big Senior Executives. Some goes for those little paper cups that you drink out of, and a little goes to me. But the most important thing is this: remember that commercial on TV about the little girl named Maria with No Shoes in a Foreign Land? Part of every dollar you pay goes right straight into her pocket, lickety split. Maria is actually 31 years old now, (divorced, 2 kids).
So you can feel very comfortable that your money is being handled with the greatest possible care.
**How Do I Get Signed Up?**
Nothing could be simpler! Just start clicking your mouse, and you'll figure it out. Have your credit card handy. It's like the Home Shopping Club (c), only easier.
And let me be the first to say, "Thanks! Welcome Aboard!" |
