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Pastimes : Double Zero -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Hoatzin who wrote (2164)	2/5/1998 1:42:00 PM
From: TEDennis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4295

Unconfirmed rumor !!!! Caution ... this information is not guaranteed to be valid. The original author's name has been lost in the many-times forwarded message getting to my desk. Everyone is advised to do their own due diligence, and invest only in those stocks you feel would gain benefit from the following info. ************ The European Union commissioners have announced that agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short). In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k". Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik emthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go. By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by z" and "w" by " v". During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

To: Hoatzin who wrote (2164)	2/6/1998 2:51:00 AM
From: TEDennis	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 4295

Kevin: Here I sit in front of my PC at almost 3 O'clock in the morning. Another late night slaving away for the good of FBNA. I only hope our beloved stockholders appreciate the unbridled enthusiasm I have for our company. It's no wonder I feel so tired. ... yawn ... The excitement I have for this company is so great that it's overcoming those new pills I've been taking to help me sleep better. ... yawn ... What are those pills called again? Darn, I can never remember. Such a silly name. ... yawn ... Reminds me of a breakfast cereal. Cheerios, or something like that. ... yawn ... Wait ... now I remember! Yeah, that's it. Silly me. How could I forget? What else would you call something that helps you nod off? ... yawn ... A pill to help you nod off to sleep. Yep. The Marketeers really outdid themselves with their naming of this one. ... yawn ... Nod-Oh's. Think I'll take another one. Maybe it'll help me go to sleep. ... yawn ... Wonder why the spelled the name that way, though? NODOZ. Weird. ... yawn ... TED