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To: Bill Ulrich who wrote (2182)2/8/1998
From: Jeffrey S. Mitchell  Respond to of 4295
 
I'd like to do my impression of an announcer for the Winter Olympics:

Now on the mogul course is Fred Dangummit. Fred first started snow boarding at the age of 1 and a half in his hometown of Nashua, New Hampshire. He says he's dreamed all his life to get win an Olympic medal, a dream that almost came to an end 21 and a half years later when he broke his leg in a freak accident shortly before the '94 Olympics.

Here in Nagano in '98, Fred is 27 and looking for one last shot at gold. He's considered one of the favorites thanks in part to his rigorous training schedule. Fred decided four years ago to leave his wife and children with his in-laws and move to the mountains of a remote village in Switzerland. He financed his stay by selling his house and stamp collection his grandfather bequeathed him shortly before his death from lung cancer in '95.

In a rare interview Fred gave CBS last year, he told of getting up with the sun and skiing until dark. He told of a rigid diet of raw eggs for breakfast, steamed quinoa for lunch, and sheep entrails for dinner. In the evenings he spent up to five hours praying and meditating, sometimes remaining motionless for hours at a time.

Dr. Rolph Beirstein, Fred's sports psychologist, says Fred is one of the most intense and focused individuals he has ever had the pleasure of counseling. Fred's coach, Arthur Grungrock, agrees, saying that Fred has all the makings of a true champion.

Fred is dedicating these Olympics to his mother, Sandra, who passed away suddenly last week from food poisoning. Her death, says Fred, has only made him more determined that ever to win it all.

Back in Nashua, Fred is the talk of the town. Today has been declared a local holiday, and all of Fred's friends and relatives are gathered at Fred's high school gymnasium watching this live run on a giant screen TV that the local boy scout troops were able to rent with money they raised selling candy bars door to door last summer.

And judging by Fred's time at the top half of the course, he is one full second ahead of the nearest competitor and well on his way to an Olympic course record and a gold medal! With just three gates to go I'm sure he can hear his wife and children screaming his name as four years of waiting and a lifetime of training... oh dear, he just skied through the last gate-- an instant disqualification. I'm sure he is just as surprised as we are here in the booth.

Next on the course is...

- Jeff



To: Bill Ulrich who wrote (2182)2/10/1998 9:11:00 AM
From: Hoatzin  Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 4295
 
Bill, get a life!

Sometimes I wonder if we don't overestimate the technical skills of our competition:

Message 3381224

My years of working with the latest fads in Information Technology have taught me taht if a message is too short, SI doesn't know who to send it to, especially when the company has changed its name. Or perhaps the message didn't have enough postage.

But I'm going to bookmark that McCabe guy, he's never been wrong yet.

Kevin