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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Ish who wrote (17718)2/12/1998 10:38:00 AM
From: Father Terrence  Respond to of 108807
 
MYSTERY OF CHOPPED TREES STUMPS LOGMEN
A Few Seek the Root of the Problem

Dateline: Timberline, Oregon

Last weekend the impossible happened.

At least that's the belief of townspeople in Timberline, a slumbering lumbering village surrounded by forests on
the edge of civilization, time and papermills.

Sheriff Pine of Oak County first happened upon the enigma: over 100 virgin acres of prime timber, reduced to
thousands of resinous tree stumps uniformly cut to a level of 1.1 meters from the ground. About the only thing
that could seem to account for it is a one kilometer long chainsaw.

What's worse, except for the stumps, there's not a trace of the rest of the trees; an outrage in lumberland!

"We've been betrayed," Sheriff Pine pined. His wooden countenance showed no emotion, symptomatic of denial
of a reality to strange to ponder. "Yes, a betrayal. . . it's trees, son! That's what it is, plain and simple. If I find
the culprit, I'll beat him to a pulp!"

The town's preacher, Reverend Woodstock, who often sports a rustic cap made from pressed sawdust, said,
"Someone's branched out, that's obvious. I have an idea who it was, but I don't want to go out on a limb just yet
and bark up the wrong tree. I just wish whoever it was would leaf us alone."

Dr. Sally Feldman, a naturalist, said it's only natural that events like this occur from time to time. She offered no
further explanation.

Meanwhile, environmentalists are searching for evidence to support their hypotheses that a 4,000 pound beaver
is on the loose. They contend the postulated creature was mutated by living too close to nuclear power plants --
although the nearest atomic power station is more than 1300 miles away.