To: Ish who wrote (17718 ) 2/12/1998 10:38:00 AM From: Father Terrence Respond to of 108807
MYSTERY OF CHOPPED TREES STUMPS LOGMEN A Few Seek the Root of the Problem Dateline: Timberline, Oregon Last weekend the impossible happened. At least that's the belief of townspeople in Timberline, a slumbering lumbering village surrounded by forests on the edge of civilization, time and papermills. Sheriff Pine of Oak County first happened upon the enigma: over 100 virgin acres of prime timber, reduced to thousands of resinous tree stumps uniformly cut to a level of 1.1 meters from the ground. About the only thing that could seem to account for it is a one kilometer long chainsaw. What's worse, except for the stumps, there's not a trace of the rest of the trees; an outrage in lumberland! "We've been betrayed," Sheriff Pine pined. His wooden countenance showed no emotion, symptomatic of denial of a reality to strange to ponder. "Yes, a betrayal. . . it's trees, son! That's what it is, plain and simple. If I find the culprit, I'll beat him to a pulp!" The town's preacher, Reverend Woodstock, who often sports a rustic cap made from pressed sawdust, said, "Someone's branched out, that's obvious. I have an idea who it was, but I don't want to go out on a limb just yet and bark up the wrong tree. I just wish whoever it was would leaf us alone." Dr. Sally Feldman, a naturalist, said it's only natural that events like this occur from time to time. She offered no further explanation. Meanwhile, environmentalists are searching for evidence to support their hypotheses that a 4,000 pound beaver is on the loose. They contend the postulated creature was mutated by living too close to nuclear power plants -- although the nearest atomic power station is more than 1300 miles away.