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Technology Stocks : Ascend Communications (ASND) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: username who wrote (34600)	2/12/1998 3:22:00 PM
From: DHB	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 61433

Immediate Release: Sadaam Enterprises announces the implementation of 1 Billion $US ASND switching equipment for monitoring US Naval positions via WWW. Maverick is handling all technical detail for an undisclosed sum. Gary (not Korn) will be installed as the sabotage expert, CSCO will subsidise his payroll. Gary Korn will be handling all legal aspects, embargo etc. Style is promised to handle all future press releases to the Iraqs press corp. Mr. Pete Roker has been placed as minister of common sense and trivia. The impact of said release contains forward looking dribble and propaganda. Any rapid increase in share price can not be attributed to this article.