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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Grainne who wrote (17839)2/27/1998 6:11:00 PM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 108807
 
That San Francisco has neighborhoods doesn't surprise me at all; most large cities are made up of them, even New York, or D.C. We are very social beings and we tend to group. However, this is not the same kind of community support network I think was meant in the initiative in that your neighborhood has no accountability for its behavior, or for those people needing help. I'm not sure how much involvement your neighborhood even has on a day-to-day level among its members. We had very little in Dallas with our neighbors--nowhere near the intimacy of small town interaction. Our Dallas neighborhood had the same "Will work for food" woman and man on the street corner every morning. (She wore a maternity outfit every day for two years--she had the gestation period of an elephant.) I may have given her money (well-at first) but that in no way alleviated her problem. It only made me, the giver, feel a little less guilty. These people are not really part of the fabric of our daily lives and we don't really assume responsibility. (although it sounds as if your husband and his coworkers did try!!)

Which I guess brings me to your statement about how inured we have become to the suffering around us. I think it's a survival mechanism-if we walk around with our nerves all exposed we cease to be able to act. If I am so consumed and agonized about the entire world, I'll lack the ability and dedication to do anything. It's important for me to realize that I can't save the world, but I can teach one person to read and that there is a great deal of importance in that one act.
There was a beautiful woman in my town when I was growing up, educated and warm, married to a lawyer. They lived next door to us for a while She had no children and loved music, she was poetic and gentle, very alone and she spent a lot of time with me. I loved her. One day, years later home from college for a break, I ran into her at the grocery store. I hardly recognized her. She had stringy long grey hair and had put on a hundred pounds at least. She was wearing a flowered housecoat and slippers. SHe hugged me and hugged me and then she began to cry and tell me how she ached for all the children of the world and how she couldn't sleep, and how she prayed all the time for God to stop all the suffering, that she couldn't stop thinking about it. I believe this was a woman so fragile and beautiful that something in her snapped at life. She lacked that ability to turn it off. We protect ourselves-we have to. The problem comes when we protect ourselves to the point that we forget how to feel at all. Extremes again!
Dunno if this makes any sense.... just rambling!!!!