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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Don Pueblo who wrote (8283)	2/27/1998 10:48:00 PM
From: JF Quinnelly	Respond to of 71178

Here's one for you, Colonel Sanders: Scientists at NASA have developed a gun built specifically to launch dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields. British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made. But when the gun was fired, the engineers stood shocked as the chicken hurtled out of the barrel, crashed into the shatterproof shield, smashed it to smithereens, crashed through the control console, snapped the engineer's backrest in two and embedded itself in the back wall of the cabin. Horrified Britons sent NASA the disastrous results of the experiment, along with the designs of the windshield, and begged the U.S. scientists for suggestions. NASA's response was just one sentence, "Thaw the chicken."

To: Don Pueblo who wrote (8283)	2/28/1998 5:38:00 PM
From: Thomas C. White	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

Oooooh. Stills many much ugly mares of nights in sleeping bed bad, dreamings of mine own foot feets, Bathing feets in oceans, feet hurtings, feetfeetfeet, dreamings of big nasty nails, breaking nails big wave giant, sitting me naked forgot pants on in cantina. Even Eeeeemelda yadayada no makes me more fried plantains still I sleeps not so goodly nohows ways what for? Anyways figurings nows then must I hows I lays sneaky big traps that big boundmuscles jarheads he-mans, he is sorry sure how he ever messes up with Juan F. Gonzales Quiros Guillermo Hourquescos Saldiver when him his lungs feeding toothyfishes in blacks waters Ha Ha no yes way and how!! Hmmm, maybe goes out on porch sits thinks nice day and how to this mornings nice no rains finally indeed, the finest Sunday that the Autumn saw, with all its mealy clusters of ripe nuts... huh??? What thats funny talkwords in skullboners rings??? I no talks like that speakers nevery nivery muchly hows ever more!! Oh wells, maybe right too manys on mescals the nights back Miguel withs, hanging overly with headsores. Hmmm, wanders I anyways whats gets big bandoleros strongmans maybe into caimans pit for big gator feasty shows I give big yowl howl on that one I will in manner of a bird that takes delight in answering to itself, or like a hound single at chase among the lonely woods... Pig Shits!! There go goofy girlytalky word agains in brains!! Like womens reads only worse still yet!! No mores ever againly the mescal maybe a weeks I soon starts seeings maybe whats aren't isn't yet ever therely? Yechhh. I talks ever thatly funny talks likely manly mens of Paratour laughs hyenas likes. Betters careful I am will. So I gets that Bubby in caimans pits chewed ups maybe yellowhairs Rambisweetie she likes with Juan F. Gonzales Quiros Guillermo Hourquescos Saldiver upshacks her in secretly Rio beach condoms, ditches I monkeysnoutface woman Eeeemelda yadayada, maybe lets nicely old sewerbreath cracktooths rotwhiskey Dan man goes back to deserts gulches with donkeymules mule, fool. Or donkey. Take your pick. And that's singular!! Whats!!?? Who is you?? Oh, Lord, how you do pain* me. You do not need an English lesson, my man. You need a linguistical root canal.* Upshuts you the mouths!! Speaks English perfects goods like maybe how your Spanish anyways?? Waits minutes!! That in mine own heads pingponging noises!! Listen well, buffoon. In my day, what you do to the Mother Tongue was a hanging offence. Get used to the company. I'm not any happier about this than you. For the moment, since we're on rather -- what -- familiar? terms, you may call me...Bill. Ooooh. Woozyhead flopflips gutstomachs where pepto quick. Whats I do desserts these?? Being must be what like maybe jungle pointy horns demonspirits in brains camping outs!! Whats I do now then hurry quicks? Maybe go see great giant feather scary Chicken God in fierce chicken lands mountain tops cave dead man skeletals heads on sticks scary way bigs waters trouser no matters, snivel lots get advice sorta Dear Abby voodoo stuff betters go quicksly get guns credit cards gas jeeps outta here so pure the sky, so quiet is the air! So like, so very like, is day to day! Yeeeek!! Ptui!! Stops that wussywords damn how goldilocks tightbelly Rambipuss ever falls for wimpytalks likes thats I'm bare assed myselfs her in front way sures!! Whats goings maybe I gets mental sicklies like going "sticks a Phoenix" manies person in heads somethings!!..... O Powerfully Uglies Fat Giants Chicken Gods!! I grovels and eats chicken dirts and kisses on your frightfully clawfeets sharps!! Feet!! Feet!! Ohhh, but this is dreadful... Helps O Chickens, helps me quicks!!