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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: BlueCrab who wrote (8350)3/3/1998 9:04:00 AM
From: Rambi  Read Replies (4) | Respond to of 71178
 
As you all know, I am a nauseatingly excellent model of diplomacy and self-control; I am eternally pleasant and polite, trained in the best Virginia belle traditions of hospitality and perfect manners, self-deprecating to a fault and courteous to all. Thus I warn you that the following story may surprise and upset Rambians, and be met with incredulous expressions of horror and shock.

My wonderful son Ammo has been playing point guard on a rec league basketball team and has been outstanding, leading his team to a second place seed at the tournament this past weekend. Unfortunately the first place team (the Rockets) was extremely good- having gone undefeated the whole season and usually winning by about 30 points a game. This was a double elimination tournament and Ammo's team (the Hornets) made it to the semi-finals Saturday where they faced the Rockets. Ammo was called for four fouls in the first half, (really tickytacky ones too) and there was this father from the other team, a real jerk, sitting a couple of rows back just cheering every time Ammo got called, and abusing the refs, saying really stupid and completely uncreative things (which is unforgivable; if you're going to be a jerk, at least do it with wit and originality). Now I NEVER yell at games, except to say good things, but this kind of parent infuriates me. So I started turning around and glaring at him. Then I gave his wife sympathetic looks, rolling my eyes ("You poor thing. You must be so embarrassed to be married to this jerk.")
All parental modesty aside, Ammo IS the team and having four fouls effectively shut his defense down. We are losing by twenty points and this idiot is STILL yelling at the refs about their calls and Ammo. Finally he said something about them refusing to call a fifth on Ammo and I turned around and said, "You have got a very serious problem."
Dan is saying shhhhh and trying to shut me up. I'm ready to duke it out with this guy. But Ammo gets taken out and they lose. However then they defeat the next team and so will have to play the Rockets Sunday for the championship.
Ammo is phenomenal the next day- 25 points, great D, just all around stupendous. And this ƒme de boue (wonderful expression-means "soul of mud") starts up again. After a few comments, I turn around, stand up, look back and say, "Oh, it's HIM again." And all the parents laugh and applaud. Dan is mortified; I am pleased with myself. And, in the upset of the season, we WIN. But since it's double elimination, we have to play them again immediately and Ammo fouls out and they win the championship. (Aside-when Ammo fouled out, the other team stopped and applauded him, along with the entire bleachers-he really played heroically)
Leaving, Dan says, "You'd better hope Ammo never plays on the same team as that father's kid." And we all laugh.
Last night, the phone rings and it's the coach of the Rockets. THey are going on to the District Championships in Dallas and are allowed to pick up one player from the league to join them and they want Ammo. We're all excited; Ammo is beside himself, this is a huge honor, to be recognized as the best player in the league! Then it dawns on me. We are now on this jerk's team. Dan and Ammo think it's very funny. I can't believe I've gotten myself in this position with my big mouth.
But I'm sure I'll like him much better now that we're on the same team. And maybe he won't recognize me in this trenchcoat and mask.