To: epicure who wrote (8372 ) 3/2/1998 3:33:00 PM From: Thomas C. White Read Replies (3) | Respond to
Okays okays yeesh, Eeeemelda yadayada he giant chicken eats dinners anyways readyall don't feed too much he get piles make bawks all nights. So yes indeeds we keeps Mister Universe Bubby heres for maybe big messy gala chickenpeck gut shows for friend from Medellins arrivings the nightlies day. Anyways surely Machine Guns Kelli blondipuss know hims certains maybe makes nicelies we keeps his self lives longer maybe still yet. Heyyyyyy, byways, I no remembers, what was names mans bowlerpins juggley gringo mans you likes disappears sooooo into sadly swamps last years? I never hears him of agains...I hear the Sky-lark singing in the sky; and I bethink me of the playful Hare: Even such a happy Child of earth am I. Monkeyturd!! There is agains!! Talkings now cutesy furry bouncyhops rabbit and tweety skybirdies!! My, that was an especially fractured fusillade good fellow. Say, there wouldn't be a Guinness in these parts to be had, would there? Maybe a kidney pie? It's been awhile. Gets outs theres Juan's heads rightly nows!! Whose are you the hells?? Well, my fine poltroon, I suppose there is no further point in suspense. I'm afraid that I am a poet, William Wordsworth by name. And I appear to have had the misfortune to be stuck here, marooned on this desert island of a brain of yours. So we will need to make the best of it. Poets!! Why I has poets on the brains?? Hey, I knows great good poems myselfs!! Here goes. A womans from South Carolina, puts grape jelly in her-- Perhaps another time. Okay, reminds me thens. Great poems, mens always laughs yukyuks. I shan't fail to. What we have is a little -- well, a great big -- problem. Ohhhh, thats you means like precarnations likes we does pins in dolls things maybe like? Dear God. How do you so effortlessly garrote the language? Yes, something like that. Anyway, it's normally not an issue. We can just sit there quietly. But occasionally we pull up a chair in someone whom we find utterly loathsome and then it's a holocaust. Johannes Brahms has been rattling around inside Wayne Newton now for several years. Helen of Troy has spent three decades duking it out inside Phyllis Diller. The Marquis de Sade? The good Mr. Rogers. Dostoyevsky is planted in the noggin of Barbara Courtland and howling at the heavens. And now I appear to have joined this cavalcade of the miserati. I, William Wordsworth, one of the great craftsmen of the English tongue, am now firmly ensconced in the cranium of one Juan F. Gonzales Quiros Guillermo Hourquescos Saldiver (I do have that right, don't I??), a walking abbatoir of language. PS, in case you're wondering, your Spanish is even worse. Would that it were. Unfortunately that sort of unsolicited takeover thing is quite frowned upon. Oscar Wilde recently showed up inside Pat Boone, he's been acting out. The results can be...confusing. So I'll just try to gut it out in here. Hmmm. Much as I loathe the idea of assisting in such a travesty of seduction....she seems a sweet girl...I do have to admit that the thought is a bit tempting, if only so as not to hear how you might bludgeon love poetry. And it's been a century or two since I turned on the heat. I shall think about it. I must admit that I never wrote these poems myself. Far too frivolous. But I do know some zingers I can at least borrow. Hmmm. Need to give Andrew Marvell a call...John Donne maybe...
