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To: PeterR1700 who wrote (5718)3/8/1998 7:56:00 AM
From: Steven Durrington  Read Replies (3) | Respond to of 11708
 
Petrofsky,

With friends like you, who needs haemmorhoids ? (That's English
spelling for you Septics). Obviously, you have little to do on weekends,
except to express your contempt towards the foreigners who bring in
valuable export dollars via tourism. In a couple of years, when you find
out that Medicare won't fund your penile prosthesis implantation, just ponder
what might have been if I had been encouraged to return to the US and
spend another several thousand dollars stimulating your economy.

So, being an Australian makes me a target for ridicule, does it ? Well
mister, let me be the 1st to enlighten you about the top 10 things why
it's great to be an Australian...

1. Penguins - we got 'em, and you don't in your hemisphere.
2. Endless hours of scientific education (and fun !) observing the toilets
and drains emptying clockwise.
3. Hole in the Ozone layer enhances suntanning ability and saves time.
4. The Bee Gees now live in the US (you're welcome to keep 'em).
5. A national holiday was called for our 1st ever Winter Olympics Medal
(Bronze in the women's slalom - hey, it's not as though we have a huge
nordic tradition).
6. Indonesia could invade 90% of our landmass, and we would hardly notice
the difference.
7. Our "bears" don't maul/eat unsuspecting hikers.
8. America's non-participation in obscure sports opens the door for
Australia to gain world champion status (field hockey, rugby, netball,
cricket, beer drinking, boomerang throwing, coo-ee calling)
9. 4 out of our 6 states are bigger than Texas. So there.
10. We're just so darn endearing that everyone loves us...

I could go on, but there's always work to do...

:-)

Durro