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To: HarperLee who wrote (1015)3/19/1998 8:22:00 PM
From: Matt Black  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 2232
 
Harper,

I have now had to change my whole mental image of you! I thought your last post was very cute--and I do admit I feel better about thinking this now that I know you are a woman. But having watched my share of "Jerry Springer" I'm sure you wouldn't mind submitting to an examination by a licensed physician before we date. You really ought to write more of your own stuff instead of cheering on a mooncalf like Jeff O. I even feel bad now for including you in this at all--its one thing to pick on the mentally retarded, but quite another to pick on a girl. You have my apologies, and I welcome you to my on-line harem of female admirers. Angela, if your still out there, NO CATFIGHTING WITH HARPER!

Come to think of it, I should've known you were a woman! After I made that throw away comment about You and Jeff being an interesting genetic mix, ((Remember, I said that your kids would be to drunk to write stupid)JeffO E-mailed me to say that he was undergoing a sperm count. According to JeffO, the count was Four. (One big glob and three smaller ones.)
Please don't give your real address to JeffO, as I fear he may get too excited when he finds out you are a woman. Slow people have trouble handling feelings of arousal. So, if you ever get accosted by a stranger, how will you know if it was JeffO? Simple...You'll have to help him.

And to correct you, One tit was in the coffee, and the other was in the oatmeal! You must have heard this a thousand times before or JeffO. wouldn't have had access to it. When I think of all the Bazooka Gum he had to buy to build his repetiore.

So Harper, if you are named after the Harper Lee of "To Kill a Mockingbird," can I assume that JeffO. is your Boo Radley?

See ya Baby

Matt, Snowed in, but trying to get to Philladelphia in the AM.

PS. Angela...oh screw it...name the kid whatever you want.