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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: greenspirit who wrote (8766)	3/21/1998 10:23:00 AM
From: Rambi	1 Recommendation Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 71178

The scene: We have just finished an elegant meal in the formal dining room of the hotel. We adjourn to the patio overlooking the ocean and order B&B's for us and virgin daiquiris for the boys. It is surely a different heaven than the one we observe nightly in Dallas-the stars are brilliant, the sky somehow more distinct and luminous, the everpresent breeze warm and velvety. "This moment calls for a good cigar," says CW. I don't have any idea where he got this idea, but that's true of most of CW's ideas. Dan wordlessly rises and leaves. He returns in five minutes with a Dominican cigar and a pack of matches and hands them to CW. Twenty matches later, the cigar is still unlit, which is at least reassuring. Had he managed to light up with proficiency, I would have been alarmed. Dan finally takes it and gets it going. He hands it to CW, who nonchalantly puffs and exhales and hands it to Ammo, who not so nonchalantly drops it, just missing his drink. "Hey-that cost ten dollars. Careful." warns Dan. "Ten dollars!" I squeal, horrified. "Their first cigar should be a good one." says Dan, in a worldly tone. "Like they would know," I mutter, as Ammo hands it to me. It's disgusting. And it's already wet. I take a breath and stick the thing in my mouth. It tastes like--a cigar. We do this for a while, Dan dipping the end in his B&B, but yelling when Ammo goes to dip it in his strawberry daiquiri. "I need another drink," I say. My mouth feels awful- as if I'd been chewing Blue's dirty kitty litter. "Me, too," says Ammo. CW and Dan go to get them. Ammo and I puff away; he likes tapping the ash off. The cigar lasts a very, very long time. It's pretty soggy from being dipped in things and from the gumming of the inexperienced. "I don't feel so good," says Ammo. I consider the statement carefully, the B&B's seem to have slowed me down. "You know, I don't either," I say. "Wimps," says Dan, man of the world. "Wusses," says CW, young sophisticate. We walk back to our rooms. I drink a bottle of Evian and brush my teeth, which is really a gross experience. I make a note never to dip a cigar in Crest toothpaste. At 3 am I wake up and wonder if my mouth had been captured and tortured by aliens. Actually I think my own bad breath woke me. My God! There's a blister on my tongue. I brush my teeth again and suck on the toothpaste tube. I sleep badly. THe next night after dinner, Dan says, "Cigar?" Ammo pats him on the arm. "Dad, I think that's one of those things you only do once with your kids. But thanks for the memory."