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To: KENNETH R SANDERS who wrote (35734)3/26/1998 5:10:00 PM
From: Patrick E.McDaniel  Read Replies (2) | Respond to of 176387
 
NEWS FLASH!!!!!!! KAUFMAN BROTHERS ARE ASKING FOR EXECUTIVE PRIVILEGE!

Lawyers for the Kaufman Brothers ask for executive privilege today on Wall Street.

Kaufman Brothers executives on board their aircraft Wrong Way One, en route to Madagascar for their 6 day tour said "We know nothing about it."

When asked about the nature of their trip they said research has shown a breakthrough in stock market analysis coming out of Madagascar.

"Our research team has tried primates of all kinds for stock picking.It is true humans are the accepted standard but we feel we should look at all the primates. We found the Lemur as the best primate for picking stocks. The Orangutans climb to the top of trees and just make faces at us. Chimpanzees seem to be more inclined toward management and the Gorillas don't take criticism well. The Lemurs are batting .05 but the benefits packages are low as they are sent to biological research facilities if their performance falls off."

Press spokesman for the Kaufman Brothers was asked if the investigations of Silicon Investors from the Dell thread were the reasons for this sudden trip out of the country, Mike Mcfuddled said after eating a banana "No this trip was planned a long time ago. I can't remember. I'll have to talk to the lawyers about that."

Sam Carpettop, CBA NEWS