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Pastimes : FLAME THREAD - Post all obnoxious/derogatory comments here -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Blue On Black who wrote (3947)	4/1/1998 11:13:00 AM
From: Larry Voyles	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 12754

The disciple Won Short Dong speaks.... As I was standing on the back porch of my double-wide pressure washing my treasured Naugahyde sofa last night (urine odors are a bitch to get out, aren't they?), I began wondering about this market. Nothing makes sense anymore. Companies that make their numbers are punished severely. Companies that miss their numbers badly are let off lightly. Companies that beat their numbers by 1 cent rocket straight up and hang there like helium balloons. Easy shorts are missing. After being burned badly on MANU (what goes up....doesn't come down), I am convinced that there is a left-wing conspiracy to drain me of all my hard-earned (okay, hard-stolen) cash. The market-makers, in collusion with Bill Gates, the Illuminati, the Trilateral Commission and extra-terrestrials are scheming to rid me of my personal wealth in order to fund their world domination plan. Based on my personal analysis of illegible documents obtained from unreliable sources, I have determined that this plan involves powerful hypnotic narcotics being placed in inexpensive fortified wines and distributed to carefully selected vendors of spirits. The documents state that their plan is currently in beta test, but that Bill Gates is pushing hard to cancel the beta and release the product to the paying public. In a memorandum to the other conspirators, Bill states "...[I] have been charging the public for the privilege of beta-testing my products for years. They bitch and moan about it and then come back for more." Just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't out to get me. The truth is out there, so watch where you step.