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To: Tech Master who wrote (13264)	4/14/1998 3:40:00 PM
From: Jeffrey S. Mitchell	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 17305

Re: Way off topic: concerning your TPII post... Yo mamma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes Yo mamma so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind Yo mamma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl Your mamma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! Your mamma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! Yo momma so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put "O.K." Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. Yo mamma so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl. Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. Yo mama so stupid when asked on an application, "Sex?", she marked, "M, F and sometimes Wednesday too." Yo momma so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. Yo mamma so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds! Yo mamma so stupid she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home. Yo mamma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics." Yo mamma so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes. Yo mamma so stupid she thought gangrene was another golf course Yo mamma so stupid she couldn't read an audio book Yo mamma so stupid it take her a month to get rid of the 7 day itch. Yo mamma so stupid she thought the Nazis were saying "Hi! Hitler" Yo mamma so stupid it take her a day to cook a 3 minute egg Yo mamma so stupid She went to Disney world and saw a sign that said "Disney world Left" so she went home. Yo mamma so stupid she told everyone that she was "illegitimate" because she couldn't read Yo mamma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! So Old Yo mamma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! Yo mamma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch' Yo mamma so old I told her to act her own age, and the b*ch died. Yo mamma so old her social security number is 1! Yo mamma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo mamma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo mamma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Yo mamma so old she's blind from the big bang Yo mamma so old even God calls her mother! So Ugly Yo mamma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. Yo mamma so ugly when she walks into a bank, they turn off the surveillence cameras Yo mamma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." Yo mamma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." Yo mamma so ugly they pay her to put her clothes on in strip joints. Yo mamma so ugly she made an onion cry. Yo mamma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. Yo mamma so ugly when they took her to the beautician it took 12 hours...for a quote Yo mamma so ugly even Rice Krispies won't talk to her! Yo mamma so ugly for Halloween she trick or treats on the phone! Yo mamma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. Yo mamma so ugly she scares the roaches away. Yo mamma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. Yo mamma so ugly she is very successful at her job: Being a scarecrow Yo mamma so ugly your dad's breath smells like shit because he would rather kiss her ass. So Nasty Yo mamma so nasty when she goes to a hair salon, she told the stylist to cut her hair and she opened up her shirt Yo mamma so nasty She gotta put ice down her drawers to keep the crabs fresh! Yo mamma so nasty she made speed stick slow down. Yo mamma so nasty she brings crabs to the beach Yo mamma so nasty she made right guard turn left. Yo mamma so nasty she has to creep up on bath water. Yo mamma so nasty that her sht is glad to escape. Yo mamma so nasty Ozzie Ozbourne refused to bite her head off Yo mamma so nasty I called her for phone sex and she gave me an ear infection. Yo mamma so nasty lice consider her a great vacation place Yo mamma so nasty she was declared quarantine since before she was born Yo mamma so nasty she joined the four horseman: war, death, famine, disease and Yo mamma Yo mamma so nasty she went swimming and now we have the dead sea Yo mamma so nasty skunks run from her Source: buffnet.net - Jeff

To: Tech Master who wrote (13264)	4/14/1998 3:50:00 PM
From: Jeffrey S. Mitchell	Respond to of 17305

Way off Topic (continued) Yo Mamma's So Fat 1.Yo momma so fat when she wears red she looks like the Kool-Aid Man. 2.Yo momma so fat when she sits around, she sits around. 3.Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light god told yo mamma to move her fat ass. 4.Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcom X T-Shirt hellicopters try landing on her. 5.Yo momma so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun! 6.Yo momma so fat when she bungee jumps she goes straight to hell! 7.Yo momma so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up. 8.Yo momma so fat were in her right now. 9.Yo momma so fat people jog around her for exercise. 10.Yo momma so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone 11.Yo mamma so fat you have to roll over twice to get off her. 12.Yo momma so fat she was floating in the ocean and Portugal claimed her for the new world 13.Yo momma so fat when she has sex, she has to give directions! 14.Yo momma so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!" 15.Yo momma so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!" 16.Yo momma so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller 17.Yo momma so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn" 18.Yo momma so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE! 19.Yo momma so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book! 20.Yo momma so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views! 21.Yo momma so fat she's on both sides of the family! 22.Yo momma so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil! 23.Yo momma so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon! 24.Yo momma so fat that when she hauls ass, she has to make two trips! 25.Yo momma so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out! 26.Yo momma so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans! 27.Yo momma so fat when she back up she beeps. 28.Yo momma so fat she has to buy two airline tickets. 29.Yo momma so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her 30.Yo momma so fat she stands in two time zones. 31.Yo momma so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps. 32.Yo momma so fat when she wears a Malcomn X T-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back! 33.Yo momma so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean. 34.Yo momma so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse. 35.Yo momma so fat the National Weather Agency has to assign names to her farts!!! 36.Yo momma so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet. 37.Yo momma so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please" 38.Yo momma so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued. 39.Yo momma so fat she's got her own area code! 40.Yo momma so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in! 41.Yo momma so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago... 42.Yo momma so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky! 43.Yo momma so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get to her good side! 44.Yo momma so fat she wakes up in sections! 45.Yo momma so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose. Yo Mamma's So Stupid 1.Yo momma so stupid that she brought a cup to the movie juice. 2.Yo momma so stupid that she sold the car for gas money. 3.Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch! 4.Yo momma so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. 5.Yo momma so stupid that under "Education" on her job application, she put "Hooked on Phonics." 6.Yo momma so stupid She went to disneyworld and saw a sign that said "Disneyworld Left" so she went home. 7.Yo momma so stupid she asked me what kind of jeans I had on and I said "guess" so she said levi's 8.Yo momma so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes 9.Yo momma so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends 10.Yo momma so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl 11.Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order! 12.Yo momma so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight! 13.Yo momma so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund! 14.Yo mamma so stupid she ran into a parked car. 15.Yo mamma so stupid she sold her car to buy brand new tires. 16.Yo momma is so stupid she thinks she is smart. 17.Your momma so fat and stupid her waist is bigger than her I.Q. Yo Mamma's So Ugly 1.Yo momma so ugly her parents had to tie a porkchop around her neck to get the dog to play with her. 2.Yo momma so ugly when she joined an ugly contest, they said "Sorry, no professionals." 3.Yo momma so ugly she looks out the window and got arrested for mooning. 4.Yo momma so ugly just after she was born, her mother said "What a treasure!" and her father said "Yes, let's go bury it." 5.Yo momma so ugly they push her face into dough to make gorilla cookies. 6.Yo momma so ugly they filmed "Gorillas in the Mist" in her shower 7.Yo momma so ugly she gets 364 extra days to dress up for Halloween. 8.Yo momma so ugly her mom had to be drunk to breast feed her 9.Yo momma so ugly her mom had to tie a steak around her neck to get the dogs to play with her. 10.Yo momma so ugly when she walks down the street in September, people say "Damn, is it Halloween already?" 11.Yo momma so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday. 12.Yo momma so ugly people go as her for Halloween. 13.Yo momma so ugly that your father takes her to work with him so that he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye. 14.Yo mamma so ugly she could make an onion cry. 15.Yo momma is so ugly that when she looks in to the mirror she says what an ugly person. 16.Yo mamma so ugly when she was born the doctor just slapped her parents. Yo Mamma So Old Yo momma so old I told her to act her own age, and she died. Yo momma so old she has Jesus' beeper number! Yo momma so old her social security number is 1! Yo momma so old that when God said let the be light, she hit the switch. Yo momma so old that when she was in school there was no history class. Yo momma so old she owes Jesus 3 bucks! Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook! Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it. Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince. Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper. Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs. Yo momma so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade. Yo Mamma So Poor Yo momma so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said "Moving." Yo momma so poor she can't afford to pay attention! Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush! Yo momma so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people's fingers!!! Yo momma so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!" Yo momma so poor she went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway. Yo momma so poor your family ate cereal with a fork to save milk. Yo momma so poor her face is on the front of a foodstamp. Yo momma so poor she was in K-Mart with a box of Hefty bags. I said, "What ya doin'?" She said, "Buying luggage." Yo momma so poor she drives a peanut. Yo momma so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning. Yo momma so poor burglars break in her house and leave money Yo momma so poor you go out for sunday pushes of the skateboard Miscellaneous Yo momma's underwear is so full of holes that when she farts they whistle. Yo mamma has so much dandruff, the lice have to wear snow boots. New jokes sent to G World by Users Vote for the best!!! Last months winner was, Yo momma's underwear is so full of holes that when she farts they whistle. This months top 5 sent in jokes: 1. Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was when she was looking down at the scale. 2. Your mamma is so stupid that she looked in a box of Cherios and said, "look, doughnut seeds." 3. Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks at a map, she can see people waving at her. 4. Yo mamma is so stupid she thought menopause was a button on the VCR. 5. Yo momma pits are so hairy it looks like she has Don King in an head lock. Source: members.aol.com - Jeff