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Pastimes : Let's Talk About Our Feelings!!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Rambi who wrote (20471)	4/15/1998 12:06:00 PM
From: Grainne	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 108807

Penni, I just wrote several posts acknowledging that there are a lot of nice, loving, concerned parents who spank their children, and that the children do not seem to experience harm as a result. I would never spank a child, but that is my own personal belief. So I think we are saying just about the same thing. However, I am curious about what limits on spanking are reasonable to most people--the point at which it becomes child abuse. That is why I asked Michael the questions I did. In some ways it seems more difficult to permit spanking and then decide exactly when it becomes abuse, rather than outlaw it completely, as Sweden did a few years ago. In terms of indoctrinating my child, perhaps I should have been clearer. I specifically meant indoctrinating my child with religious beliefs--things outside of ordinary reality. I hear these conversations every day, where the parent is telling the child "In our family, we believe . . ." and then there is a discussion about God and Jesus. The parents teach their children to pray, and what to say in prayers, as soon as they are able. If you go to the children's section at the bookstore, there are all sorts of books for tiny children about Jesus. Sunday school starts as soon as toddlers can sit still, and start absorbing rudimentary religious instruction. I was mostly musing about whether the world would be a better, and less violent, place if children waited until they were about seven to receive this kind of instruction, and then chose which religious belief system sounded most interesting to them. I know that sounds utopian, but I think it is an interesting question to consider. Of course, every parent indoctrinates their child with moral and ethical concepts--that it is wrong to steal, or hit people (I am a little unsure how this is taught clearly when the parents hit the child, however), or lie. Atheists and agnostics also teach their children these rules about getting along well in life and being good and kind to others, but they do not teach a religious belief system. Incidentally, we were talking about social promotion of children. Our local newspaper did a long article on this recently. It seems that in reality, children who are held back may do even worse than children who are promoted without attaining the appropriate skill sets. After reading the article, I am wondering if it might be better to handle the situation the way it is suggested in the article--by intensive remedial instruction that does not further stigmatize an already vulnerable child--after school, summer school, one-on-one tutoring. There is nothing like already feeling stupid to pretty much block out whatever CAN be learned--I have experienced that myself when I have to do something that is really outside of the subjects I am reasonably good at. Once I have started making mistakes and someone is watching me, I totally panic and lose my focus. I think most of us have experienced this feeling the first few days of a new job. sfgate.com