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Gold/Mining/Energy : At a bottom now for gold? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Alan Whirlwind who wrote (1116)	4/15/1998 11:27:00 PM
From: Brian Gerbozy	Read Replies (2) \| Respond to of 1911

Alan, you are amusing yourself of late, and thanks for sharing and giving us some laughs and some culture here. Some of my favorite plays....are you a lit professor? Brian

To: Alan Whirlwind who wrote (1116)	4/22/1998 10:58:00 AM
From: Alan Whirlwind	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 1911

Pinky's Tailing Box: a weekly Wednesday Feature of At a Bottom Now For Gold... BREAKING NEWS...NEW ELEMENTS DISCOVERED! Wolenchukoxide Low on the Atomic Chart because it's not given much weight. An inert forecaster of movement. Causes one's portfolio to break down over time. Skousenium Often identified with the metallic elements but fully gaseous in nature when heated. Possesses highly malleable views. Sometimes found in Central America. Brinkernium A totally non-metallic element. Hardly registers on the mass speculatrometer. Bonds readily with uranium, tellerium, and potassium (U, Te, K) Repels Brokernium in its natural state. Reacts with Bowtienium to create credibilitium Somewhat unstable in the presence of Callerium. Dessauerium (dis-how-worry-'em) Never loses an electron so it never makes right moves, even periodically. Presence often indicates the breakdown of Wealthium. Poor conductor of assets. Juanitanium Highly unstable element full of electropositive attraction. Reacts with other highly unstable Silicon based elements to produce fun. Never forms a covalent bond on the BB. Has been known to react with Protractorium to break down NPECium. Resonates with a melodious trill when its mass is vibrated gently. Not found on any Atomic Chart. From the Tailing Box... Dear Mr. Whirlwind: Bo Bob Brain once posted the following advice: "Don't marry investments and speculations. Date them." What is your opinion? --Going Steady Dear Going Steady: Bo was absolutely right. The last time I married a speculative investment I spent my honeymoon down a rathole. --Whirlwind Dear At a Bottom Now for Gold: What's your opinion of Pork Belly futures? --Hogwild Dear Hogwild: You might shave a point or two off of a nearby contract once you get your razorback. --Whirlwind Dear Whirlwind: Compared to Warren Buffett's superior market analysis, you look like tossed salad and fruitcake. --Ben A. Round Dear Ben: Indeed? I had Buffet for lunch last week at Ponderosa's. --Whirlwind Dear Whirlwind: Ever since the Gulf War your market recommendations have been super. How do you come up with these money making stock symbols? --Impressed Dear Impressed: Since 1990, I've invested in the ticker symbols resulting from my cat Fluffy running across my keyboard. --Whirlwind Dear Pinky's Tailing Box: Zappa sold off almost all of its assets for a few pennies a share up front. Should I dump my holdings? --Zapped Dear Zapped: Too late for that. A better idea would be to hold your dumplings. --Whirlwind Gotta question on the metals for the Whirlwind? E-mail them to: whirlwindbuyszappa@aol.com