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Joke Post. Puritans, (or weirdoes), please press "next" above.
DO NOT READ, if you do, then do not complain, fair warning.
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# 1. The importance of listening to the advice given by women.
A man traveling by plane was in urgent need of using the restroom. Each time he tried to use it, it was occupied. The flight attendant, aware of his predicament, suggested he use the ladies room but she cautioned him against pressing any of the buttons.
The buttons were marked "WW", "WA", "PP" and "ATR". Making a fateful mistake many men make in disregarding what a woman says, he allowed his curiosity to get the best of him and decided to try the buttons anyways.
He carefully pressed the first button, marked "WW", and immediately warm water sprayed his entire bottom. he thought, "Golly, the gals really got it made..." Still curious, he pressed the secong button, marked "WA" and warm air dried his entire bottom warmly and quickly. He thought that was out of his world. The button marked "PP" caused a large powder puff to powder his bottom with sweet smelling silky powder. Well, naturally, he could not resist the last button marked "ATR".
When he woke up in the hospital, he panicked an buzzed the nurse. When she appeared he cried out, "What happened? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies room aboard a plane."
The nurse replied "Yes, you were having a great time until you pressed the last button "ATR" which stands for Automatic Tampon Removal. Your penis is under your pillow."
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# 2 SuperMan, (a day in the life of).
It was a boring day in superhero city. Superman was very bored, so he goes up to Spiderman and says "Hey, Spidey, do you want to go to the bar and play pool and have some drinks?". Spiderman replies "Sorry Superman, I have to fix my webs because if I don't, no one will fight crime". Superman says "Yeah, I guess you are right", and he leaves.
Superman keeps on walking and walking and he sees Batman. He walks up to Batman and says to him "Hey Batman, you want to go to the bar and drink or smoke some blunt or something?" Batman replies "Sorry, Sup, I have to fix my Batmobile or else no one will fight crime". Superman replies "Yeah I guess you are right", and leaves.
Superman then starts flying through Superhero City and he looks through a window and sees Wonderwoman lying on the bed naked. Superman says to himself "Hey, I am as fast as a speeding bullet, so I will fly in there and fuck her so fast she won't even notice". So he does it. BICKETY BAM!!! He is in and out in 10 seconds. Suddenly, Wonderwoman rolls over and says "Invisible Man, did you hear something?". Invisible Man replies "I don't know but my ass hurts like hell!!"
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# 3 The Daily Challenge
This guy walks into a bar, and he sees a pile of money laying on the counter. He asks the bartender, "What is this money for?"
The bartender says, " This is for the daily challenge."
The man asks, "Well, what's the challenge for today?"
The bartender says, "Do you see that bouncer over in the corner? First, you have to knock him out. Second, there's a mean pit bull out back. You have to pull out one of its teeth, and bring it back to me. Third, there's a 90 year old prostitute upstairs. You have to go up there and have sex with her. After you have done those three things, then you can have the money."
The man says, " Give me a second to think about it."
Then the man gets up, walks over to the bouncer, and knocks him out in five seconds. He comes back to the bartender.
"What's the second thing?" he asks.
The bartender says, "The pit bull out back."
The man says, "Oh Yeah."
The man goes out back, and the bartender can hear the dog growling and scratching and things breaking.
The man comes back in all scratched up and bleeding and asks, "OK. Now where's that 90 year old prostitute that needs her tooth pulled."
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off for some golf.
end
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