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Pastimes : Don't Ask Rambi -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: BlueCrab who wrote (9854)	4/16/1998 11:24:00 AM
From: DScottD	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 71178

Learning the fine art of volume drinking domestic libations at this point of your life would kind of be like trying to teach Holly the intricacies of the pick and roll or the match up zone defense. Not for the faint of heart. Volume drinking is a skill that must be taught at an early age, only by licensed professionals at accredited institutions. I'm afraid that my skills have deteriorated somewhat over time as I have gotten away from the practice. You can start by completing this easy and fun lesson. Buy several cases of Pabst Blue Ribbon, voted America's Best in 1894. Now, shotgun every can in the case (a process that should take a beginner about 6 or 7 hours). When you can get the elapsed time down to about 30 minutes, you will have completed your first lesson. Empty bladder and then repeat. Don't forget the 2 Tylenols before bedtime. (Note: to shotgun a beer, take an old time beer can opener and punch a small hole in the bottom of the can. Keeping your right index finger over the hole, quickly pull the tab on the can with your left index finger while tilting your head back and putting the can to your mouth in one fluid motion. Release your right index finger and enjoy the flood of golden elixer racing down your throat as the can empties in about 5 seconds. A few practice runs are always advisable before making that first official attempt.) After you have mastered this simple, yet essential skill, we can move on to the next stage where I will teach you how to chug a pitcher of Olympia (it's the water) in under 10 seconds.