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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (205)	4/25/1998 3:59:00 AM
From: EL KABONG!!!	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Did you hear about Bill Clinton's news conference yesterday morning? He came out to greet the reporters wearing an expensive suit and tie. He glanced down at his audience and realized that they weren't dressed nearly as well as himself. After all, these were working people. So he took off his jacket, removed his tie and rolled up his shirt sleeves, only to reveal to the many cameras, a pair of woman's lace panties draped over his upper arm. Reporters and cameramen gasped loudly, but wisely and respectfully, no one mentioned it in their questions. Finally, as the last reporter had a chance to ask a question, a newsman in the back of the room could stand it no longer. Interrupting the reporter who had the floor, he yelled out "Mr. President. Why is there a pair of woman's panties hanging from your left arm?". Clinton replied "What? Oh this. It's a patch. I'm trying to quit!". KJC

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (205)	4/25/1998 3:03:00 PM
From: Nazbuster	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

An elderly priest invited a young priest over for dinner. During the meal, the young priest couldn't help noticing how attractive and shapely the housekeeper was. Over the course of the evening he started to wonder if there was more between the elderly priest and the housekeeper than met the eye. Reading the young priest's thoughts, the elderly priest volunteered,"I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, my relationship with my housekeeper is purely professional." About a week later the housekeeper came to the elderly priest and said, "Father, ever since the young Father came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it do you?" The priest said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write him a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that you did take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you did not take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later the elderly priest received a letter from the young priest which read: "Dear Father, I'm not saying that you do sleep with your housekeeper, and I'm not saying that you do not sleep with your housekeeper. But the fact remains that if you were sleeping in your own bed, you would have found where the gravy ladle was."