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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (261)	4/29/1998 4:40:00 AM
From: EL KABONG!!!	Respond to of 2733

This guy walks into a bar with a monkey and orders a drink. The monkey quickly grabs his drink, downs it and looks for something to eat. He gobbles up the bar pretzels, downs the peanuts in one gulp and eyes the pickled eggs. The enraged bartender grabs the eggs before the monkey can eat them. So the monkey runs over to the pool table and swallows the cue ball whole. Bartender: "Can't you control your monkey?" Patron: "Not really. But I'll pay you for any damages he's done." So the guy pays the bartender and leaves. About a week later he comes back with the same monkey. He orders a drink, the monkey grabs it and starts looking for food. The bartender, having been burnt once, is too smart this time. He's taken all of the food off of the bar and there's nothing for the monkey to eat. Patron: "Can't you give him something?" Bartender: "Here. Give him this cherry." The monkey takes the cherry, sticks it up his ass, removes it and then eats it. The bartender is speechless, but before he can utter a word, the guy speaks up. Guy: "Look. I know it's disgusting, but ever since he ate your cue ball, he measures everything first." KJC