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Microcap & Penny Stocks : DGIV-A-HOLICS...FAMILY CHIT CHAT ONLY!! -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Brooke Geiger who wrote (2620)	5/4/1998 9:49:00 AM
From: eRM Solutions	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 50264

Joke of the day! Subject: Chickens >> >> >> >> >>Why did the chicken cross the road? >>Answers: >>KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. >>PLATO: For the greater good. >>ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. >>KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability. >>TIMOTHY LEARY: Because that's the only trip the establishment would >>let it take. >>SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were >>quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it. >>RONALD REAGAN: I forget. >>CAPTAIN JAMES T. KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before. >>HIPPOCRATES: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas. >>LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you see, represents the black man. The >>chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down. >>MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be >>free to cross roads without having their motives called into question. >>MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the >>chicken,"Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and >>there was much rejoicing. >>FOX MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many >>more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it? >>RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the >>chicken did NOT cross the road. >>MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who >>cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there >>was. >>JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't >>anyone ever think to ask, What the heck was this chicken doing walking >>around >>all over the place, anyway?" >>FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed >>the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity. >>BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which >>will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important >>documents, >>and balance your chequebook. >>OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the >>road?" >>Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we >>overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" >>DARWIN: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally >>selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross >>roads. >>EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved >>beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference. >>BUDDHA: Asking this question denies your own chicken nature. >>RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road .. it >>transcended it. >>ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. >>MICHAEL SCHUMACHER; it was an instinctive maneuver, the chicken >>obviously didn't see the road until he had already started to cross. >>COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one? >>HILLORY CLINTON: It was part of a vast right-wing conspiracy against >>my husband. >>BILL CLINTON: The chicken did NOT cross the road. Not a single time. >>Never. (It was a boulevard) >>ANDERSEN CONSULTING: Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road >>was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with >>significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required >>for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering >>relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its >>physical distribution strategy and implementation processes. Using the >>Poultry >>Integration Model (PIM), Andersen helped the chicken use its skills, >>methodologies, knowledge, capital and experiences to align the chicken's >>people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy >>within a Program Management framework. Andersen Consulting convened >>diverse >>cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with Anderson >>consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in >>a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal >>knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize >>with >>each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and >>successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value >>framework across >>the continuum of poultry cross-median processes. The meeting was held in a >>park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which >>was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, >>clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, >>vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a >>total >>business integration solution. Andersen Consulting helped the chicken >>change to become more successful. >> >>