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Technology Stocks : How high will Microsoft fly? -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: larry who wrote (6507)	5/5/1998 8:16:00 AM
From: Judy Muldawer	Respond to of 74651

Nothing to do with stocks, but a little Microsoft humor: At a recent COMDEX, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1,000 miles per gallon." Recently General Motors addressed this comment by releasing the statement "Yes, but would you want your car to crash twice a day?" What's scarier is that if Microsoft had gone into automobile manufacturing and dominated the industry as they normally do, then we'd have to deal with the following: 1.Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 2.Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 3.Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail and you would have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you would accept this too. 4.You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT". But, then you would have to buy more seats. 5.Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but would only run on 5 percent of the roads. 6.The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars, which would make their cars run much slower. 7.The oil, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. 8.New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 9.The airbag system would say "are you sure?" before going off. 10.If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what happened. Here's why Microsoft doesn't make cars: There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere. Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, "Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, then open the windows again, and maybe it'll work?!" Judy siliconheights.com