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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (300)	5/7/1998 7:26:00 PM
From: diddlysquatz	Respond to of 2733

A man walks into a bar, orders a drink and yells out "Lawyers are f@%#ing assholes." A big man from the other end of the bar jumps up and says "Hey watch your mouth punk!" First man says "Why are you a lawyer?" Second man says "No....I'm a f@%#ing asshole!"

To: Vanni Resta who wrote (300)	5/7/1998 8:28:00 PM
From: TOM	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

Mark Twain was opposed to polygamy in principle when he first arrived in Salt Lake City,where the Mormon leader Brigham Young was situated with his sixty wives.But when Twain first caught a glimpse of Brigham Young's homely wives, he changed his mind. "I was touched. My heart was wiser than my head. It warmed toward those poor, ungainly, and pathetically 'homely' creatures, and as I turned to hide the generous moisture in my eyes, I said, 'No-the man that marries one of them has done an act of Christian Charity which enables him to the kindly applause of mankind, not their harsh censure-and the man that marries sixty of them has done a deed of open-handed generosity so sublime that the nations should stand uncovered in his presence and worship in silence." from the greatest American Humorist