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Pastimes : Ask Mohan about the Market -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: robnhood who wrote (15727)	5/14/1998 6:45:00 PM
From: Cynic 2005	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 18056

Compaq Sees Further Euro Shakeout PARIS (Reuters) - Compaq Computer expects a further shake- out in the European computer industry following the demise of Tulip Computers and Siemens-Nixdorf's decision to stop making computers. ....... Do I get this right? demise of Tulip.. As they say in Sanscrit. thadastu {so be it} -MMV

To: robnhood who wrote (15727)	5/16/1998 6:47:00 AM
From: John Hunt	Respond to of 18056

Humor - New Medicine For Men Hi Russell, From today's Joke-of-the-Day e-mail, here is one to pass around the trading floor. Wow! Have they ever got us figured out. < ggg > John Submitted by K. Lawson ------------------------------------ With Viagra such a great medical success for increasing men's sexual prowess, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's society.. Here are a few of the new ones: **** DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car trips caused 72 percent of them to stop and ask directions when they got lost, compared to a control group of 0.2 percent. PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting a new one. COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hairstyle. Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new clothing. BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be continued for a period longer than your favorite store's return limit. NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents. NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other family members. FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal gasesback into food solids. Special bonus: Dosage can be doubled for long car rides. FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Especially useful for men on Viagra. PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs of other people. Note: Apparent overdose turned three test subjects into "special prosecutors." LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available in Regular, Grand Jury and Presidential Strength versions. Joke-of-the-day e-mails are free. If you are interested, sign up at joke-of-the-day.com