SI
SI
discoversearch

We've detected that you're using an ad content blocking browser plug-in or feature. Ads provide a critical source of revenue to the continued operation of Silicon Investor.  We ask that you disable ad blocking while on Silicon Investor in the best interests of our community.  If you are not using an ad blocker but are still receiving this message, make sure your browser's tracking protection is set to the 'standard' level.
Pastimes : Double Zero -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Bill Ulrich who wrote (2852)5/15/1998 8:46:00 AM
From: Don Pueblo  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 4295
 
Perhaps you would care to make an additional comment:

Message 4465983



To: Bill Ulrich who wrote (2852)5/18/1998 10:03:00 AM
From: Hoatzin  Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 4295
 
Microsoft settles with Justice Dept., makes stunning concessions.

By Larry Ellison

WASHINGTON, May 18 (Reuters) - Software giant Microsoft Corp. (MSFT - news) this morning announced a stunning settlement of all antitrust charges against it.

Representatives of the U.S. Justice Department and all 50 states began talks in Washington at midnight Sunday in a last ditch bid to reach a settlement.

Details of the changes to the Windows 98 operating system were still incomplete, but it appeared to be a complete capitulation by the hydra-headed hegemon from Redmond.

Microsoft chairman Bill Gates said, "We will be releasing a revised version of Windows 98 in just a few days. When the computer is turned on, Windows 98 will display an image of Janet Reno for over twelve minutes. We will also build into the desktop icons for certain products from our major competitors, such as Wallace Technology, Zitec, and Merced, Inc. In addition, Windows 98 will only support one type of wallpaper, an image of a twelve-foot chicken from outer space."

But Gates said his earlier statement, implying that state and federal lawyers were making mental threats and were mentally ill people and mental mass debators, with nothing better to do than mentally create havoc and hatred, was taken out of context, and that as a gesture of goodwill, he was sending a case of J&B whisky to all Federal employees.

"Let MICROSOFT go about its business and let the stock holders benefit, let go of the chicken, it is not reality," added Gates. "I can also suggest you watch Frank Gifford of the Church of Viagra. Rev. Gifford teaches Positive Mental Attitude, Lerv, and Forgiveness by Hell-Cat Wives"

A spokesperson for the Justice Department stated, "Having dealth with software programmers for over 30 years I can assure you they are not easy to communicate with and they are very naive when it comes to marketing ro selling. They are technical people that in many cases can not communciate with business people, and are too busy choking the chicken. Well, they got what was comming to them, ha ha ha."

Experts expect the next round of Microsoft versus the Justice Department to rank among the top antitrust cases in U.S. history, such as the 1943 agreement to break up the Spice Girls, or the 1911 dismantling of the Standard Tampon monopoly.