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Biotech / Medical : VVUS: VIVUS INC. (NASDAQ) -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?


To: Mkilloran who wrote (8092)5/15/1998 3:28:00 PM
From: Don Dunlap  Respond to of 23519
 
New Pfizer Drugs for Men:

> With Viagra such a hit, Pfizer is bringing forth a whole line of drugs
> oriented towards improving the performance of men in today's
> society....
>
> DIRECTRA - a dose of this drug given to men before leaving on car
> trips caused 72% of them to stop and ask directions when they
> got lost,compared to a control group of 0.2 percent.
>
> PROJECTRA - Men given this experimental new drug were far more
> likely to actually finish a household repair project before starting
> a new one.
>
> CHILDAGRA - Men taking this drug reported a sudden, over-whelming
> urge to perform more child-care tasks - especially cleaning up spills
> and "little accidents."
>
> COMPLIMENTRA - In clinical trials, 82 percent of middle-aged men
> administered this drug noticed that their wives had a new hair style.
> Currently being tested to see if its effects extend to noticing new
> clothing.
>
> BUYAGRA - Married and otherwise attached men reported a sudden
> urge to buy their sweeties expensive jewelry and gifts after talking
> this drug for only two days. Still to be seen: whether the drug can be
> continued for a period longer than your favorites store's return limit.
>
> NEGA-VIAGRA - Has the exact opposite effect of Viagra. Currently
> undergoing clinical trials on sitting U.S. presidents.
>
> NEGA-SPORTAGRA - This drug had the strange effect of making men
> want to turn off televised sports and actually converse with other
> family members.
>
> FLATULAGRA - This complex drug converts men's noxious intestinal
> gases back into food solids. Special bonus:Dosage can be doubled
> for long car rides.
>
> FLYAGRA - This drug has been showing great promise in treating
> men with O.F.D. (Open Fly Disorder). Expecially useful for men on
> Viagra.
>
> PRYAGRA - About to fail its clinical trial, this drug gave men in
> the test group an irresistible urge to dig into the personal affairs
> of other people. Note: Apparent over-dose turned three test
> subjects into "special prosecutors."
>
> LIAGRA - This drug causes men to be less than truthful when being
> asked about their sexual affairs. Will be available Regular, Grand
> Jury and Presidential Strength versions.
>