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Pastimes : Jokes -- Ignore unavailable to you. Want to Upgrade?

To: EL KABONG!!! who wrote (362)	5/15/1998 7:29:00 PM
From: Vanni Resta	Read Replies (1) \| Respond to of 2733

> > > APPLICATION TO LIVE IN NEW JERSEY > > > > > > NAME:__________________________ > > > > > > Nickname:_____________________ > > > > > > ADDRESS: ______________________ > > > > > > EXIT # ______________________ > > > > > > > > > ETHNIC BACKGROUND: _______Italian _______Sicilian > ________Other > > > > > > BACKYARD SMELLS LIKE: > > > a)Sewage b)Sulfur c)Garbage d)All of the > above > > > > > > TOTAL # OF MUSCLE SHIRTS > > > a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above > > > > > > # OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS > > > a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above > > > > > > # OF BON JOVI TOUR SHIRTS THAT ARE ALSO MUSCLE SHIRTS > > > a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above > > > > > > BRAND OF JEANS PREFERRED > > > a)Sergio Valente b)Jordache c)Sassoon d)Z. Cavaricci > > > > > > PERCENTAGE OF WARDROBE WHICH IS LEATHER > > > a)100% b)95-100% c)90-95% d)85-90% > > > > > > TOTAL # OF GOLD CHAINS OWNED > > > a)10 - 15 b)15 - 20 c)20 - 25 d)25 and above > > > > > > # OF GOLD CHAINS WORN AT ONE TIME > > > a)5 - 10 b)10 - 15 c)15 - 20 d)20 and above > > > > > > APPROXIMATE VALUE OF ALL THIS JEWELRY > > > a)$ 5 - $10 b)$10 - $15 c)$15 - $20 d)Stolen > > > > > > NUMBER OF APPLICATIONS OF OBSESSION/ POLO/ DRAKAR TO ACHIEVE > > > DESIRED EFFECT > > > a)10 - 15 b)15 - 25 c)25 and above > > > > > > GOLD CAP ON AT LEAST ONE TOOTH? YES NO > > > > > > HAIR HEIGHT > > > a)6 - 8 Inches b)8 - 12 Inches c)1 - 2 feet d)More than 2 > > > feet > > > > > > HAIR PRODUCTS USED AT ANY GIVEN TIME > > > a) Hair Spray > > > b) Styling Gel > > > c) Mouse > > > d) Extra Hold Styling Gel > > > e) Bondo > > > f) Spackle > > > g) 40 Weight Oil > > > h) Crazy Glue > > > > > > AUTOMOBILE OWNED: > > > a) IROC Z > > > b) Firebird > > > c) Camaro > > > d) Mustang > > > f) Chevette ( You got a f#%ing problem with it?) > > > > > > NUMBER OF INCHES CAR IS OFF THE GROUND > > > a)6 - 8 Inches b)4 -6 Inches c)2 - 4 Inches d)Under 2 > Inches > > > > > > CHARACTERISTICS OF AUTOMOBILE > > > a) Gold chain around license plate > > > b) Neon lights around license plate > > > c) Neon lights under car > > > d) Chippendales/Playboy air freshener hanging from rear view > mirror > > > e) Garter hanging from rear view mirror > > > f) Chrome hubcaps > > > g) Stick-on window tinting > > > h) Stick-on paint splash stickers > > > i) Fuzzy dice > > > > > > FAVORITE SPORTS TEAM > > > a) F#%ing Giants > > > b) F#%ing Jets > > > c) F#%ing Mets > > > d) F#%ing Yankees > > > e) F#%ing Nets > > > f) F#%ing Knicks > > > g) F#%ing Devils > > > h) F#%ing Rangers > > > i) F#%ing Islanders > > > > > > FAVORITE MUSIC > > > a) Techno > > > b) Rap > > > c) Bon Jovi > > > d) Bruce Springstein > > > > > > ESSAY QUESTION > > > > > > In 100 words or less, Define the term "Yoos Guys"

To: EL KABONG!!! who wrote (362)	5/20/1998 9:09:00 PM
From: Vanni Resta	Read Replies (3) \| Respond to of 2733

Top Twenty Signs You're from New York 1. You say "the city" and expect everyone to know that this means Manhattan. 2. You secretly envy cabbies for their driving skill. 3. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building. 4. You can get into a four-hour argument about how to get from Columbus Circle to Battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. 5. Hookers and the homeless are invisible. 6. The subway makes sense. 7. The subway should never be called anything prissy, like the Metro. 8. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual. 9. You think $7.00 to cross a bridge is a fair price. 10.You've considered stabbing someone just for saying "The Big Apple". 11.Your door has more than three locks. 12.You go to a hockey game for the fighting. In the stands. And to participate. 13.Your favorite movie has DeNiro in it. 14.The most frequently used part of your car is the horn. 15.You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression. 16.You call an 8' x 10' plot of patchy grass a yard. 17.You complain about having to mow it. 18.You are a skee-ball juggernaut. 19.You consider Westchester "Upstate". 20.You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Wapner Happy Investing! Vanni