Actually, Jon, your post on the Asteroid Index was the best one I've ever read. Jon created this thread in a moment when the earth was facing a great disaster. I was the first respondent. For the record, Zulu folks, this is how Jon and I met:
Started By: Jon Tara
Date: Mar 11 1998 11:25PM ET
OK, here it comes - that killer asteroid we've read about and seen in science fiction books
and movies for years. But this time it's real.
Today's New York Times reports the discovery of an asteriod - 1997 XF11 - that is now
believed may come within 30,000 miles of Earth on October 26, 2028. This could bring it
between the moon and the earth, and is close enough that some scientists are talking about
the need to take "steps".
The asteroid was discovered in 1997 (thus the moniker) and it's discovery was previous
reported - however, until recently it was thought that the approach would not bring it closer
than 500,000 miles.
It's expected that we will know for sure how close the approach will be when the asteriod
returns in 2000 and 2002 (it's currently receeding from the Earth).
I'm creating this thread to discuss the impact (pun intended) of this asteroid on stock and
commodity markets, and the economy in general. (Please leave the discussion of other
aspects to the, oh, say, 10,000 or so web sites that are likely to be devoted to the subject
over the next 30 years...)
What stocks or commodities should be included in an "asteroid index"? Which stocks are
likely to do best if we need to blast the asteroid out of the sky? And which ones to buy to
capitalize on the "live it up in the mean time" sentiment should we learn that a collision is
inevitable? What might be the broader effect on markets in general? And finally, have we
found the solution to the baby-boom retirement problem?
My response:
To: Jon Tara (0 )
From: PartyTime
Thursday, Mar 12 1998 2:26AM ET
Reply # of 14
Count me in ... I'll organize the party! My people are party-trained, and we're ready.
Also, I'm gonna wanna know what stocks to buy. I'd even like to have my portfolio
intact, out of the red, when I get to heaven. This because I know God invested well.
Think of all the growth he got from his and her stocks!
Get ready. This will be the most exciting dialogue, ever to grace the earth. It'll make us
feel so lucky to be alive now, in this very abrupt period of history.
Oh. One more thing we've gotta do before it hits. And this is far more important than
our parties. We've got to make the world right. That's right, right. No more war, no
more murder, no more rape and plunder or petty theft. You know, one happy people
standing on the same ground and looking into the same sky!
Now, back to the stock market. My first stock recommendation would be Guinness.
Once we've got enough of that in our portfolio, we'll need to invest in every laser and
thunder technology on the earth, and elsewhere. I'd also warn your friends to stop
investing in those silly futures since, obviously, they will be a thing of the past.
Yep! You, Jon Tara. I think you've succeeded in creating the most profitable SI thread
yet. Best one anywhere, really.
Okay, let's get started.
Whose got the biggest house for the party? It's best that this volunteer(s) should
offer--for free, of course--a mountainous beach spread, where the sands squeak and
the sky is still full of stars. Each party will be organized under the moon full. (If anyone
owns such a place and would like to offer it, presuming the NYT story is true, by all
means get in touch with me--we'll do it! This can work. Seriously!)
This party, of course, will be annual until a time certain. We'll make it huge, the biggest
most international media event ever held on earth It'll be bigger than the Pope's
following; larger than Clinton's. Wait. I don't know, should we invite Castro too? Of
course, the whole world unite! I mean we want a good ending, don't we? Isn't this what
it's all about?
We'll even introduce scientists to Madonna, and they can explain things. There'll be
special invitations to movie stars and common folk. It'll be a great moment for them to
meet, and see how much alike they really are. These parties will be fun! No doubt about
it. A Rainbow Gathering, of a different kind indeed.
But, as always, since this is a stock market forum, and even though an astroid is going to
hit, there'll still be a downside: No more online trading. Nor inside trading. The upside?
Well, we'll finally beat back the shorters. Are you ready? This'll be fun!
And since we're gonna be having parties like this, I prudently suggest each of you invest
in alcohol. Go long.
But before this happens--and since the end of the world is really a special situation--I
have but one mere upfront and reasonable request to make of my government. Legalize
marijuna before the damn thing hits! Now, yesterday--why wait for tomorrow for God's
sakes? Do it while we've still got the glory and beauty of all that we know that's
precious: A sun that still shines and a moon that still glows, before this horrible astroid
feasts on our mountains and drinks our deepest oceans.
I point out also that investors would be most pleased. What with taxes on tobacco and
all, we could make pot and end of the world substitute. You did it for butter! Wow?
Jon, one last thing. Are you sure we've got time to pull this together?
Astroidally yours,
Michael
PS: Do they have oil drillers in heaven? |
