To: DLL who wrote (16266 ) 5/24/1998 3:11:00 AM From: Grainne Read Replies (1) | Respond to of 39621
Well, DLL, everyone has a different belief about roles for men and women. I think women hold up half the sky!!! I think the insistence that conservative Christian men have to dominate women is one of the most negative parts of their belief system, really. I have no idea how God told you that this was right. I don't even believe God is male!!! In my opinion she's busy finding out who's naughty or nice, and guys who dominate women are all going to be in a pretty warm place very soon!! ;^) It's late, and I am tired, so please don't take that first paragraph very seriously. I can see that you really believe that you do women a favor by dominating them--that it does not come out of anything negative within you. Still, my own sense is that men are terrified over the creative powers that women have, and feel threatened on a subconscious level, and this has much to do with wanting to be in charge, because really men feel inferior and out of control. What do mean by domination, anyway, incidentally? I think it means different things to different people. I deliberately chose a man for a husband who could not be dominated by me--I am a little strong willed, and would not find a man who could be dominated very exciting or interesting. But I want equal power in the relationship, shared decision making on important issues, and the freedom to make small decisions on my own in areas where I have more expertise. I manage our money, and my husband works on the car, because we are each better at these things, respectively. But if I were good at working on cars, that is what I would want to do. I think the biggest mistake is to be inflexible in a relationship. If you let your wife do the things she is good at, and participate equally in making decisions, as a couple I think you would both be stronger.